Wednesday, December 15, 2010

While we're on the topic

I've always thought Christmas nutcrackers were super creepy.

And that they look like they have lockjaw. Like the tetanus. But mostly creepy.

But the good thing about the tetanus, in case you were wondering, is that it's not necessarily fatal.

Unlike the rabies.

Unless, of course, you live in the third world and you're born with it, in which case you'll most likely die.

However, if you live here and have access to good medical care, they'll cut away the damaged tissue and then pump you full of antibiotics and - get this: 3,500-4,000 calories per day, with a ton of protein. This is because all the spasming you're doing burns a ton of calories.

It is one of my big paranoias. I think about it whenever I wear flip flops in DC. Also whenever I pick up random pieces of metal from the road, which I seem to be prone to doing. If they look cool and I think I can use them in an art thing.

It doesn't make sense with the tetanus fear, because I then spend the rest of the day Googling and fretting.

But now that I know that it's not fatal, I feel a whole lot better.

Those nutcracker dolls, though. I bet they steal your breath while you're sleeping.


  1. I had a tetanus shot 2 years ago so I can pick up random pieces of metal and wear flip flops haphazardly for 8 more years!

  2. When I was little, I would take out my parents' "The Nutcracker" album cover, which included an illustrated version of the story. In that version, the Nutcracker's head gets bandaged, and the drawing of it looked so pathetic, it made me cry.

    I was a very odd 4-year-old.

    At any rate, I've never been able to see them as the angry beasties lots of other people seem to see. I always feel kind of bad for them, all stiff and frozen like that...

  3. At first I thought, when did we get on this topic?

    Then I remembered the warm body post from yesterday.

    And that tetanus is always fair game on LG.

    I'm going to the Nutcracker ballet on Friday. I watch the one with Alexander Petrovsky on DVD every year when I wrap Christmas gifts.

    But yeah, the Nutcracker dolls are a little creepy.

  4. Okay, correction. I watch the Nutcracker ballet with Mikhail Baryshnikov. Not the fictional SATC character.

  5. Nutcrakers are creepy and I never understood why Clara would be so excited about getting one in that ballet. But on a Nutcracker-related subject, I have been captivated by the ballet since I was a small child (I think it has something to do with all the tulle), and I remember curling up under the Christmas tree willing it to grow hugemongous. But I was kind of afraid that whole creepy Mouse King-Nutcracker battle part might happen too.

  6. So its a nut cracker? as in you what? Hit nuts with it to crack them open? It is kinda creepy with it's fangy grimace. I'll stick to a hammer for my nuts :-) lol

  7. Kate - Yes!

    Hillary - I have some time with it too, but I think you're supposed to get another shot if you get a puncture wound, aren't you? Not that I got one, I just worry about getting one and not noticing.

    Jessica - I could see that. It would bring out the caretaker in you.

    HKW - Oh, yes, the tetanus from yesterday. Although this just made me realize that someone could've thought it was about the nuts.

    That will be lovely! And I was just assuming it was someone famous I didn't know. I love that you inserted his SATC name. Hilarious.

    Keenie Beanie - No, I never understood that either. And the Mouse King was terrifying.

    Go-Betty - Yah. You open the jaw with a lever in the back, put the nut in its jaw and then shut it and crack the nut open.

  8. Wow, sounds like tetanus is the perfect crash diet! Expensive, though...

  9. I haven't had a tetanus shot in about 30 years, and should think about moving into a plastic bubble....which I would much rather do than have a needle jammed into my person.

  10. Lisa - I love the journeys your mind takes. What do snowmen ornaments remind you of?

  11. i guess this means you won't be visiting old ebbitt grill now that we have those 9-ft nutcrackers flanking the front door...


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