Thursday, March 26, 2009

Touch my monkey

So far, anyway, I am the opposite of someone who gets annoyed when people touch my stomach.

Although the truth is, I haven't yet had a total stranger do so. That might bug. Because it always annoyed me when I had super short hair and people I didn't know very well would just reach over and touch the back, just to see.

But currently I'm all, "You want to touch it? It's odd! Here - feel it."

Because seriously, if you've never felt one - and I hadn't, so it is what I've been doing a lot of - it's like a hard, round ball.

It kind of fascinates me.

I've known people who have gotten breast implants, and they've gone around showing them to everyone - their mail carrier, their stylist - everyone. And I am verging on this behavior. Although I don't (yet) accost people out of the blue. But when they mention it. . .

"Lis! Look at your baby tummy!"

"I know! Want to touch it?"

Also, the accompanying drawing by my friend Dagny was designed in response to this post. But I feel like it works here. I like that I'm wielding a big javelin. It makes me look more command-y and dangerous, don't you think?

I mean, if you can overlook the shiny blue dress.


  1. i wasn't sure what the thing you were holding was
    i thought maybe it was one of those sticks you use to get things that are on high shelves or out of reach... a really long feeling pole and that you were going to talk about how you want people to poke the baby belly with that

    i have no clue why i thought that

  2. I think I would probably kill people if they ever touched my belly. Probably because there's no baby in it though, just a lot of cheese and ice cream.

  3. Yeah, so... I haven't quit my day job.

    But personally, I think only a very secure, confident person would wear a shiny blue dress. Which makes you look even more authoritative, no?

    Maybe it IS the javelin.

    And I think it's awesome that you can share your wonder at what's going on, with those around you. I'd be all kicky and snarly, I'm sure.

  4. notsojenny - Hahaha - that would be terrible if it were a belly-poke pole.

    Hillary - Since it sticks out so much farther than normal, to me it doesn't feel intimate the way it would if someone were feeling my regular stomach.

    Dagny - You KNOW how much I love this drawing. Love it love it love it.

    Also, I have been trying to find a picture for you of me going to the Chistmas dance in 9th grade wearing - I kid you not - blue lame. A conservative style, but dark shiny blue.

  5. If I knew you IRL, I would LOVE to touch your tummy!! I'm the kind of person who has the impulse when I see a preggo belly, but I always stifle it, because touching strangers is just rude.
    I've gone through the "wanna feel my new boobs?" phenomenon too, but the woman you wrote about who let the guy casually pat them is just weird. Even the strippers I used to work with weren't THAT cavalier.

  6. Belly! I've trained my dog to offer his tummy for rubbing whenever I say that word.

    Add a pair of dark sunglasses to this and you are a smiling blind woman in a shiny blue dress. Does Dagny take requests? I want one where I'm wielding a hairdryer and a can of hairspray.

  7. I love how she included the cool boots in the picture!

  8. I loved my baby belly and I would constantly ask my family and friends if they wanted to touch it. Because you're right - it's so weird!

    However - complete strangers or co-workers? I didn't want them to touch me so much. I had a co-worker try to pat my tummy before I was officially showing (so it was basically a bloat and constipation belly) and I almost freaked out. Luckily I have a total bitch face around people I don't know very well and other than that one time people never tried to touch my belly.

  9. Ditto over here. No strangers have touched it yet, but I offer the belly to anyone I know, because, YES, it feels SO crazy! It's like there is a basketball in there..

  10. This post made me laugh, but I know I would be the complete opposite! I hate being touched anyway (so how did I end up knocked up??).. touching my belly, when I start to show, would result in bad things being said.

    also, thank you for posting a link to your previous entry. I had read it before, but the title made me pause and I feel as if finally, someone identifies. this pregnancy definitely screws with my sense of self. I have been someone else these past few weeks, it seems.

  11. J - And you totally could! I agree - I have had to squelch the desire with strangers. It is compelling, though!

    And my friend, she is a trip. I'd forgotten about that guy - he was really attractive and really cool. In other circumstances, I could've fallen in love with him, I am certain.

    FreckledK - That is completely adorable.

    And I don't know - you can ask her. She thinks she lacks talent but I think it's fabulous.

    Susan - I love that too! She completely rocks.

    SM - Yes. I think before it's really sticking out it's still a very personal place. At least, I felt like that. A couple really close friends patted it, and that was fine, but I would've been freaked out with anyone less close.

    KerryLee - I'm glad to hear you are doing the same!

    Jenn - Even non-touchy people end up knocked up all the time.:)

    And yah! It's better now but I really did feel like I had no idea who I was for a while. It's a weird and complete mindfuck, on top of totally messing with your body.

  12. I think it is strange when strangers touch other people period. And I've had people show me their implants too, without me asking and I think that is strange too. In general, people are strange. Kind of like the javelin.

  13. If my regular belly were as hard as my baby belly I'd be all "touch my belly NOW!"

    It's not.

  14. I want to touch the baby belly! I'll wait til he's kicking though... I always thought that was so cool.


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