Monday, December 27, 2010

I am not sure what this says about me

My friend Kay just sent me a message saying, "At first I saw this headline and was like wtf but then I read it and thought of you."

People send me messages like this with some regularity. I don't know about you, but for me, the words, "I read it and thought of you," typically mean it will be something about merkins. Or rabies.


So. Her following sentence contained this link to an article on vaginal steam baths.

Which gave me pause.

But then actually, once you read about them, they sound kind of good. It's so cold right now, it might be nice. Kind of like squarching, but more relaxing. I wrote her back saying so.

Now, one of my male colleagues and I will be up in NY for work the end of January, and we'd been talking about it at lunch. Kay suggested that maybe I should make an appointment to get a vagina steam while I'm up there. Just to check it out.

The problem, however, is that we only have one free night, and we already have plans to get half-price tickets for a show. And I just cannot be all, "I'll meet you at the theatre. I, uh, I have to go steam my vagina beforehand."

Also, I picture walking down the street, everyone all bundled up against the cold, and me with a stream of steam wafting out of my coat, like a crotch ghost or something.

Which makes me realize that the odd part is the fact that I'm surprised when people send me this stuff.


  1. I'd think that could be a good prep for shaving or waxing. I'd be afraid I'd burn my hoo-ha though, and DAMN, steam burns hurt like a bitch.

  2. I don't actually picture ever doing this...but the idea of dropping "right after I steam my vagina" into conversation really makes me giggle.

  3. It just seems you could squat over a pot of hot water and save yourself the $50. Or use one of those fabric steamer doohickeys.

  4. I think a professional should administer the steam. Don't try this at home. What kind of education or training is required to work at a spa? I agree the theater isn't probably a good idea after a steam. I wonder what is?

    I think ghost crotch should be added to the LG dictionary. And I think there should be an LG dictionary, what fun and insight.

  5. For some reason, I feel like that would make you mighty queefy. Your crotch ghost would be a noisy one.

  6. Wow, a vagina steam? What will they think of next to suck our money out of our wallets, lol. And....just wondering...who buys something like that? Ghost crotch, hahaha! or Stanley steamer

  7. heh. I take it then you have yet to hear of the vajacial.

    This is a whole new level of vaginal steaming.

  8. Sarah, I just checked out the article about vajacials on huffington post....weird and kinda creepy. It's a whole new level of something, lol. That job would suck! I didn't think I could be surprised and yet here I am: )

  9. freckledk - Yah, it doesn't seem like it would be all that complicated. I mean, I've steamed my face plenty of times.

    HKW - You are so funny! And I love the idea of a dictionary.

    Nicole - This makes me laugh and laugh.

    Kate - I know, right? All these new services and this random creation of need. And the vajacials is definitely weird and creepy and that job would certainly suck.

    SarahLeighRabbit - I do not understand. I really and truly don't. Maybe I'm just too old for all of this.

  10. Oh christ another one to use in conversations, have you had a vaginal steam bath Love it!!!

  11. Yeah I know, it's not something I would ever choose to spend money on, and I think it's weird and creepy too.


Tell me about it.