Wednesday, April 06, 2011

Go figure

A number of years ago, when I lived with Maude, I had this dream that she slept with the husband of a friend of mine.

I woke up feeling just terrible about it, because why would she do that?

I told my friend very apologetically. She wasn't the least bit bothered. Because, you know, it was a dream.

Maude, however, was really annoyed with me, because he was someone she wasn't remotely attracted to, and not someone she would ever sleep with. How could I do that to her?

So the other night, I dreamt that I was visiting friends of mine - a married couple - and while the wife was cooking dinner she said, "OK, you can go ahead and do it now."

I was supposed to have sex with her husband.

And it wasn't really something I wanted to do, but it also wasn't going to take a great deal of effort, so I went ahead and did it.

To be polite, really.

Let me assure you that while I might feel someone's boobs to be polite, that's about the extent of my manners.

But anyway, I woke up all what kind of weird dream was that? So I told Nick about it. He wasn't overly delighted. As one might not be.

So I thought I'd make him feel better. "You know, if I were going to cheat on you, he's definitely not one of the men I'd do it with."

He just looked at me.

"Which doesn't mean that I've thought about it. It's not like there's this list of...There's not! It's more, well, he wouldn't be on it."

This reassurance, oddly enough, didn't turn things right around.


  1. Have you been watching The Big Chill?

  2. You should have told him that the REASON the guy wouldn't be on the list is because OF COURSE you would only cheat on him with women.

    And I'm sure, in some dream interpretation book somewhere, that "sleeping with your friend's husband as a favor" really means that you'd "eat your friend's eggplant casserole without complaint", or something.

    I'm comparing sex to nightshade. This cannot be good.

  3. You could have distracted him with a well placed musing: "Well, there IS a list of women I'd cheat on you with."

    That always cheers 'em up!

    (Doh - just saw that Jessica has the same idea.)

  4. freckledk - No - haven't seen it in years (and don't remember it very well)! I do listen to the soundtrack occasionally, though.

    Jessica - You are SO RIGHT on both counts. The last time I had an "oh, fine, I'll just go ahead and sleep with you" dream I was dating a psychologist, who said it had nothing to do with sex and was really about being pushed to the edge of things I had control over or something like that. Whatever it was he said made sense with what was going on in my life at the time.

    But I do like eggplant.

    Keenie Beanie - Sadly, I do not think as quickly as you or Jess! Also, I like the, "That always cheers 'em up!"

  5. Oh, Glenn Close lends her husband (Kevin Kline) to friend Mary Kay Place, who wants to have a baby. That and a viewing of The Ice Storm would inspire a myriad of dreams about spousal swinging.

  6. Hard to believe he didn't find that comforting. :)

    Hey, at least you identified one person you wouldn't cheat on him with! He should be grateful. And maybe start a list. You know, to be orderly.

  7. Poor Nick, now every time you meet up with friends for dinner or a drink he is going to be saying to you...."so would you with him?" or just start getting paranoid and watching how you interact with your friends husbands.
    Cheating with another woman will only make him feel inadequate as a man so I doubt he would be happy with that after the initial 5 mins visual imagery.

  8. lacochran - I know, shocking, right?

    Go-Betty - The thing is, I am faithful like a dog, which Nick knows. Also, none of my friends and I have ever had the same taste in men. So while I might think their husbands are attractive people, I.m not attracted to them.

  9. I once made the sorry mistake of telling NSA of the ONE person I MIGHT have cheated with IF I was ever inclined to cheat, which I'm NOT. I haven't heard the end of it yet...

  10. Everyone I know has been having weird dreams lately. April showers bring... weird dreams?

  11. J - Yah, nobody wants to hear that. It's one thing to have a list of movie stars or whatever, but entirely another to name an accessible person.

    Jac - Maybe. Or maybe position of the moon or the fact that the world shifted a little with the Japan earthquake and tsunami? I don't know, but something is off lately.


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