Monday, April 13, 2009

Clenchy, fretty things

Today is a not very good grip day.

We had a couple full, stressy, borderline sucktacular weeks leading up to this past weekend. And I suppose Friday just tipped me past my deal-with abilities.

I spent most of Saturday in bed. I just had no energy for anything.

My dad is still in the hospital. They get his blood pressure down, and then it goes back up. I'm sure just being there is hugely anxiety provoking, which doesn't help. Mondays are busy in the heart unit. The doctor should get to him around noon.

They say.

My mom is holding up OK, but it's a lot of stress. It's just really scary, you know?

I mean, there are a number of expendable corporeal bits, but your heart is one of the few essentials.

I hate thinking about it.

And we had a date set to sell Nick's place, and we were counting down to closing, but the offer was contingent on a couple things. And now they can legitimately back out if they want.

Which directly impacts our ability to buy a new place. A new place on which, yesterday, it seemed like we couldn't get on the same page.

Which immediately threw me into this state of, "We clearly have totally different goals in life and I would give up space for location and you'd happily relegate us to boring life in the suburbs where we guzzle gas and drive everywhere and I never get to see my friends and our kid is surrounded by boring shiny white people and maybe you should just go ahead and marry your second wife already. Even though she'll be Republican and make you live in Great Falls."

And so you could say there is this housing limbo.

And maybe a lot of unfair allegations. On my part.

And a million back-and-forth agent calls. All of which Nick is handling.

While at the same time picking up all of the physical slack at home.

While also dealing with a crazypants, loathesome wife who is all, "I hate this and I hate how you chew and I'm tired and my feet are swollen and are you really going to have another beer and why is it still so fucking cold and this is the wrong pillow and seriously, if you do that one more goddamn time I'm really going to stab you! And look at all these veins and is my belly button going to turn into an outie and fuck fuck fuck I'm never going to be attractive again and IT'S ALL YOUR FAULT. Oh, and could you get me a glass of water?"

Why he hasn't stuck arsenic in my coffee by now is beyond me.


  1. Wow! i didn't even expect a post from you yet today, but a lot has been going on, apparently. Hope your dad is ok, and the doctor visits him soon. you have a lot on your plate, girl. spending most of the day in bed on saturday was a good idea, as far as i'm concerned. it WILL get better. trust me. you might not have anyplace to live, but hey - that's just a detail :)

  2. Oh darling, this is a lot, even if you weren't pregs. Hang in there.

  3. A lot going on, indeed.

    I hope that the doctor is helpful when he sees your dad, and that the contingencies don't interfere with the closing.

    And that the perfect residence reveals itself soon.

    And that you are getting as many real hugs as virtual ones, because then you'll be too busy hugging back to worry overly much.

  4. LJ - Yah, the Saturday in bed, while I felt guilty about not doing anything, was hugely necessary. And the truth is, we can always live in my parents' basement. :)

    Lemmonex - Thank you, my friend.

    Dagny - Ohh, thanks. I appreciate it. I hope these things too. And I should go seek out some real-life hugs right now. :)

  5. At least you can blame being pregnant. Me, not so much.

  6. Hang in there Lisa!

  7. Oh Lis,

    this is just so much, I don't blame you for being a crankypants.

    There's the dad stuff and the house stuff, and on top of that, the pregnant stuff. But remember, you're growing a human and that takes a lot of work. It's not like you're just baking a blueberry muffin in there. So, some amount of crankiness is totally justified. An he should absolutely get you that glass of fucking water.

  8. Thanks to Sarah's comment, now I kind of wish you were baking a blueberry muffin in there, like an easy bake oven.


    I'll just echo everyone else-- you have a lot on your plate, and it's understandable that you're cranky. Hang in there, and I'm sending good thoughts to you, your parents, Nick, and your blueberry muffin.

  9. Don't worry, as soon as he can figure out how to do it without getting caught and going to prison, I'm sure he will.

    That was a lame attempt to make you laugh.

    I almost spent Saturday in bed, and I don't have any of these problems. You can do it. I haven't even been here that long, and I can see that.

  10. lacochran - Ugh. I used to have those days for no reason, and they suck and you feel even worse wondering why why why. At least I do know the why.

    Lynn - Thank you! I am, I am!

    Sarah - It does take a lot of work - thank you for pointing that out. And he always always gets me the glass of water. Even when I'm a total ingrate. He really is much kinder about all of this than I know I would be.

    mysterygirl! - Thank you for all the good thoughts. It would actually be lovely to emanate baking blueberry muffin smells. Mmmm.

    Fearless - You are probaly right. And it's better that he doesn't get caught, as I don't know that his family could handle being related to a second convict.

    I appreciate it, I do.

  11. Sorry to hear about your dad. we're at a crossroads ourselves. Wife Number One doesn't want to move out to the "burbs" (which she defines as anything beyond Shirlington, VA or such circumference). Also discounted is anywhere that has bars on first floor windows (go past Logan Circle a little and you get the idea). So we're looking in obscenely expensive zip codes. Effing life. Sorry about the dad thing again.

  12. I married a Nick and boy am I glad because seriously? No jury would convict him.

  13. So Nick is making a few phone calls - you're growing a baby! You totally win.

    I hope the doctors figure out what is wrong with your dad quickly. Maybe you should go spread some Pregnancy Crazy around and see if it speeds things up.

    I know what you mean re: suburbs. Shawn is always wanting to move way the fuck out into the boonies so we can actually live in a house instead of a tiny condo in the city. And I'm all "so you found a crack pipe while walking the dog. big deal." Suburbs = shite.

  14. So sorry to hear about your dad -- hope there is good news soon!!

  15. I am keeping a good thought for your dad... and for you... and I am keeping a good/male bonding thought for Nick. In my heart of hearts, I know that you will all get to the other side of these tempests.

  16. Sorry about the stress you're dealing with. Remember to breathe and try to keep it all together. I know it's hard.

    As for the burbs, I find my neck of the woods way more ethnically diverse than the areas I lived in when I was in DC or closer to the city. It all depends on where you look. Hopefully your house hunt will turn up the perfect place for both of you soon!

  17. "Why he hasn't stuck arsenic in my coffee by now is beyond me."

    Our men, they chose the crazy. And now they must honor that decision proudly.

    Wishing you and your loved ones the best...

  18. Anonymous - I grew up with bars on all the windows, and don't think twice about them - but it's valid to draw that line. I feel your pain. We are looking at crazy expensive zip codes as well.

    Susan - This made me laugh. I'm sure the same is true of Nick. Although now I wonder if they'd convict me before him? Him before me?

    Hillary - I am totally with you. Crack whores are people too.

    And I'm pretty unfair in my definition of suburbs. It includes some urban areas - but they happen to be in VA.

    Wendy - Thank you! Big hugs to you.

    refugee - Thank you, my friend. And you are right - we will get past these. Today is better than yesterday, and so it goes (hopefully).

    Luna - It is weird, but sometimes it's so good to have a reminder to breathe. Because sometimes I get all clenched and just don't do it enough!

    When I get mad about the burbs (or anything, really) I get all stereotype-y. They can be ethnically diverse, I know - and as you say, more so than many areas of the city.

    LiLu - You are right, they CHOSE the crazy. Thanks for the good wishes.

  19. hugs to you and the family! so scary about your dad, hang in there.

    and don't forget, even though the baby is coming on a certain due date written on the calendar, it doesn't mean you have to have every other thing tied up by that day! i mean, worst worst case you are just in the same spot when the baby comes and you move house a bit later or something. these things work out the end, it's just the timing that gets off sometimes.

    with so much going on with the baby and dad, make sure you find some way to relax a bit!

  20. Snaps to Nick for being understanding.

  21. Oh my goodness....I did not chuckle at the last part of this post. I did not.

    I'm keeping a good thought for your dad and Betty, Lisa. I know I don't know them, but I feel like I know them.

  22. My head would be falling off with half this amount to deal with and I am very decidedly un-pregnant.

    I don't know that I can help, but just know that I'm sending you all kinds of warm, sappy thoughts.

  23. I can't imagine having to deal with all that stuff and NOT feel overwhelmed. And when I feel overwhelmed and stressed, I'm not always nice to other people. At least you recognize that it's'll be okay. Hopefully, soon! :)

  24. Are you sure about the arsenic? You mentioned you've been congested . . . Sorry it's been a touch week.


Tell me about it.