Monday, February 01, 2010

You got your momma's taste but you got my mouth

I moved back to this area from California ten years ago this fall.

I got to town with no job, and moved in with my parents while I looked. And then I found a job, which turned out to be an easy commute from their house.

Ultimately, I lived with my parents for a couple years.

Truthfully, I'd have kept living with them until I got married, if we lived somewhere that that was socially acceptable. And I wouldn't have been able to afford to buy a condo if I hadn't lived at home and saved money.

But really, I enjoyed their company. It was nice to see them all the time. And, quite frankly, I worried about my dad. I wanted to be there in case.

I did, however, have to constantly defend it when I met new people. Because people think you are weird if you live with your parents as an adult.

And I am weird, it's true, but that was the least of it.

Eventually I bought a place in DC, and moved out, and still saw them on weekends. The distance was good; the nearness was also good.

I'd still sleep over sometimes, like on nights when Betty and I stayed up till 4 am watching episode after episode of the Sopranos. Or Six Feet Under. Or playing double solitaire.

Really, I just plain liked hanging out with them.

I wasn't embarrassed about it. I grew up with us moving and moving, with my family as the only constant in my life. Apparently because of this, Foreign Service families tend to be extremely close.

However, about the same time, the son of old family friends moved back in with his parents to save money while in grad school.

I think that maybe being a guy, it was harder for him to explain.

Because when asked, he would tell people that he was temporarily living with a middle-aged couple in Bethesda.


  1. wow, lisa, i did the same thing! after two years of living in an apartment at college i moved back home. i stayed there until i was 28 and got married . . . doing this enabled me to save money for my husband's and my first house.

  2. The thing I think I miss most about living close to my parents was that once or twice a month I'd go visit and my dad and I would drink beer out on the porch and my mom and I would cook dinner and I'd sleep over. It never occured to me that most people don't do that.

  3. Heh. My parents would, undoubtedly, have had to find some reason to explain my continued residence in their home in such a way that I was still superior to Eric the Doctor or Thomas the (private firm) Lawyer.

    I think we're all quite glad that never had to happen.

  4. I moved back from college and lived with my parents until I was 25. I've never lived more than 50 miles from them (at college) and now I live less than 2 miles. My mom picks Jess up from preschool every day around 3pm so she doesn't have to be there until 6pm when I could get her. I love it. And so does Jess. Close family is GOOD not bad, even if people don't understand it.

    I got a good laugh about a "middle aged couple from Bethesda"! Very smart!

  5. I think that's wonderful - not weird at all. Dating just stinks for so many reasons and this is another good one.

    But personally - NO WAY. I would rather be poor, lonely and struggling than move in with Mom and Dad. I love my family more than anything but my parents are super strict and I would have zero freedom. "It's 10 o'clock - no phone calls!", "No boys upstairs!", "You came home at 11:01 pm last night! Don't you have to go to work tomorrow?". Seriously, I'm not kidding. The double solitaire sounds fun and now that I'm older, it might be different. MIGHT.

  6. no, he didn't. Really?

    I think its wonderful that you enjoyed that time with your parents. I think we are in such a rush to create our own boundaries - I think me miss a lot in this society because of how very "nuclear" we become.

    Or jack bauer says, from 24 - nucular.

  7. Yet another case where "Omission" beats "lie".

    Until they want to go back to his place, that is.

  8. I moved back in with my parents at age 25 and LOVED IT. It was difficult to date and explain that I live with my parents, but I was the high schooler who chose to stay home on Saturday night and hang out with her parents instead of going to the local kegger-in-a-field-of-corn. I lived alone for six years in college, 250 miles away in Duluth, but Duluth isn't exactly cutting the apron strings. Point being: I'm glad I lived alone for a while to really get comfortable with my own company, but I now live 10 minutes from my folks, and it makes me truly happy. I don't like my hometown, but I like knowing that when we have kids, my parents will be close by. And I like being near my mom - I'm a major mama's girl.

  9. Haha! Bethesda! So funny!
    And Lisa, thank you for sharing the beautiful picture. Beautiful.
    xo ~L.

  10. Your post makes me really happy. I really hope this lifestyle we're imposing on my boy fosters the same relationship kind of relationship you had with your parents growing up.


Tell me about it.