Friday, August 13, 2010

It's my birthday and I'm asking you for stuff

This is me, today, on my 41st birthday.

You never think you'll be this old, and then here you are. And it feels good!

So I'm going to ask you to do something for me. I was going to say I'm not going to beat the bird in the bush.

And then I realized it's beat around. And there's no bird in the bush you're beating. Around. It's the bird in the hand. Which you, ostensibly, aren't beating.

Although one time I did tell Maude that her stupid boyfriend was kicking himself in the foot. (It turns out to be shooting. And he was stupid - she'll agree.) Whatever. You can't make a pig's purse out of a rat's ass.

Enough beating the bird. Getting to the point.

Those of you who read and comment are so incredibly thoughtful and bright and interesting - yes, I know this - I pore over you comments - and I have something to ask of you. And if you'd indulge me on my birthday, I'd be most grateful.

Would you tell me which stories of mine you like best? Either the types of tales, or specific stories. Ones that could perhaps be expanded upon. Or that I could perhaps concoct more of. (And yes, I know I should say of which I could concoct more.)

You know I'm working on something larger, and the truth is, I need some help.

You read me - so what do you like?

Thank you and hugs all around!


  1. Happy birthday, Lisa!!!

    Let's see...there is nothing that you write that I DON'T like, but I think my favorite types of stories are the ones that involve hilarious conversations between you and Nick, cute/funny stories about baby J, and the random stories that happen to you while you're out and about. Oh, and I love stories from your past dating life :-)

  2. Happy Birthday!!

    my favorite stories are just the "this happened today" kind but it's the way you tell it. i know that doesn't help narrow it down but your way of recalling an event is really what makes me excited every time i see an undrea LemonGloria on my google reader.
    (and dear God i hope it's a sitcom pilot because we need more good tv and i just think yours would be amazeballs!)

  3. and "undrea" obviously means "unread"
    i hate my husband's laptop

  4. Hell, you could write a whole book about Betty. Several, I bet. Seriously, your mother-daughter relationship is awesome, and she seems so real and alive to me even though I've never met either of you. I love Betty stories.

    Happy birthday, chica!

  5. I'm partial to the hilarious pre-Nick dating-life descriptions of your suitors.

    I also really really love the conversations you have with Nick. PArticularly when they are set in a public place.

    Happy Birthday, and GIANT hugs!

  6. Sophie's Sean8/13/2010 2:07 PM

    It's really your writing style and how you externalize your internal thought processes that is entertaining. As a result, you can write about any old topic and it will be a fun read. But I'm a guy, so I will vote for farts, penises and nakedity.

  7. I really don't have a topic of preferance, I love reading you because I too am dramatic, and swear, and tend to embarrass myself in public, and it's always nice to know you are not alone in the world :)

    But if I had to choose a specific topic, I think it would be Betty, she is so great, I would love to see the world through her eyes for a day :)

  8. Happy birthday!

    I think I love your blog because it's a balance between the funny stuff, and the hard stuff. I do have to agree with others that I mostly love how you write about funny day-to-day interactions you've had with Nick and Betty. I think they would lose their "funny" if you made them longer, but more of them would be great.

  9. Happy Birthday! You look gorgeous with the pixie! I like all of your stuff, but lately, dealing with a difficult coworker this has become my mantra: "You can't outsmart crazy. You also can't fix crazy. (You could outcrazy it, but that makes you crazy too.)"

    And I want to not be crazy too.

  10. Happy Birthday, lady!
    I'm a huge fan of everything you write but I think my favourites are your posts about conversations between you and Nick. And I especially love the posts about when you shame yourself in kid-friendly restaurants. And your posts about Betty. Oh goodness, I can't choose!

  11. Happy birthday! You look fabulous.

  12. I'm not sure which I like best, but definitely which I remember most... The butter on the nose date, the widow's peak "I don't know where he got that from" story (hilarious!), the where I would put my penis. And all the silly things Nick puts up with when you're the nutty one, and he, of course, is the voice of reason.

    But of course, just keep on writing. The same. I read and love them all, even if I'm not always commenting!

  13. My favorite stories are the ones that are most irreverent, and yet most detailed.

    Also, the stories about Betty.

    Also, some of the early dating tales.


  14. Happy Birthday! My fav stories are the one where you compare baby boys to baby girls and the shoe emergency. But really, they're all good! Can't wait to hear what the something bigger is!
    Love the haircut by the way. Just got mine chopped again today.
    Great day to you!!

  15. my faves are when you draw lil pictures! xoxo
    happpy birthday kiddo!

  16. Happy Birthday Lisa! It's my birthday too, and I am 41 as well. Perhaps we were twins in another life??

    I love your posts about the random day-to-day stuff. The things that make you say "me too!" and "OMG! that happened to me last week!"

    Keep it up funny lady, and remember to take time to let the sun shine on your backside :)

  17. I missed all the dating tales, when I have time when I'm 80, I'll go back and read them...
    What do I like the most? The brutal honesty, the babies suck stories, there's something really special in having a friend tell it like it is, as opposed to pretending everything if fine, babies are awesome ALL the time, blah blah blah!
    Your blog provides fodder for our day to day living, eg. I called Sean a douchebag the other day, in hopes that he had already read your blog ;-) For me 41 has been the best year of my life so far, strap yourself in, pour a glass and enjoy the ride my love, soph

  18. happy birthday, pretty lady! it is also mah baby's first birthday (eep!), so hooray!

    i love the illustrated posts, posts about the random things discussed in the quangle, anything about big J (but that's because, clearly, i am sympathizing/ empathizing/ laughing at you/ myself), and i also am partial to your conversations with nick, particularly when you end up being spectacularly called out on your lack of grown-uppedness. is that what i mean? who is this?

    nevermind- just keep writing, and i'll keep reading, and happy thoughts to all of you!

  19. I like everything. Just write. Pull it out of the air. I gobble up every word. Nom. Happy happy birthday Memsahib!

  20. I would be happy to tell you, but I just got here!

    If today's post is any indication, I like your word play...


  21. Happy Birthday, LG!

    I like the balance you manage to strike with your posts. There's something for everyone, though I have to admit my all time the 'It's either that or my love of chevre..' post!! I shared it with a friend of mine here (JL), and whenever we have a point to make, we hold up our index finger and give it a little circle..and giggle like idiots.

    You engage us all with your honesty (you inspire me actually, I'm not that brave), your humor, your powers of observation, and your ability to beautifully turn a phrase and play with words.

    It's fun, it's deep, it's honest, what you write...keep it ALL up!!

  22. You look fantastic! Happy Birthday!

    I look forward to all your posts. All! So, to pick is hard. I like your style and honesty. The day to day-ness and the cast of characters, of course. You're the master weaver of words. You put it all out there and it's an entertaining ride every day. Thanks!

  23. Oh! It's my birthday, too! But I'm 42. Also a weird age for me to be.

    But still! How exciting for us! I love when my birthday falls on Friday the 13th!! Don't you??

    I like your stories about your interactions with people where you are completely you [i.e. slightly/mostly inappropriate.].

  24. Best wishes on your birthday! Everything you write is wonderful.

    That said, I love the smearing-butter-on-your-date's-nose-type stories best of all. Just be yourself; it will all fall into place!

  25. Happy B-day Leo!

    You are absolutely rocking the short hair. I've had short for 10 years and am now intent on growing it, at least about chin length, it's supposed to grow faster when you're pregnant right?!

    Sorry I have no specific answer for your question - I like all the stories - fun baby stories, baby rants, random tales of the day, dark family stories, pics of your clothes.... Hope the project goes well though!

  26. I hope you had a wonderful birthday! I like best the category "There's something wrong with us" and also stories about the lovely Betty. And also, the dating stories. And the pieces about grief.

    And ooooh! Very excited to hear you're working on something larger!

  27. Happy Birthday!! And you look FAB! So I guess I'm in the minority here, but I think your Disco 69 post is my favorite, I love your exotic childhood. And Betty-isms (rosemary? rosebud?? whatever.) are just priceless.

  28. Happy birthday. I'm a very infrequent commenter I know, about once a year or so, but I do really enjoy your posts and the dependability of your posts. Not to sound creepy (good luck, right?), but your life is part of my day.

    Hell, there's probably thousands of strangers out there like me who think that way, or just one, whatever. And it's not so much the subject of the post that I like, but rather the way you express it, and you probably can't help the way you express it. It's just you.

    I don't want to be unhelpful, so the posts that affect me the most are the occasional deep dark ones preceded by a warning. But in the interest of you having a good happy life, keep them occasional. And write more about awkward situations...or poop. No, awkward situations INVOLVING poop.

  29. Lisa, Happy Birthday! I'd love to tell you what is my favorite, but I just can't pick one! I think your posts that go under "There's something wrong..." are always amazing, but then again...I think most of what you write is awesome. How's that for helpful disguised as unhelpful??! ;-)

  30. The dialogue between you and Nick.

    Happy b-day!

  31. Firstly, happy (belated) birthday! I hope I look as good as you when I'm 41. :)

    I am rather partial to your recounts of some of the strange conversations you and your man have. They never fail to make me laugh.

  32. I think you should compile your relationship (dating and with Nick) posts into a book. Your dating in DC stories are really funny and honest, and I love your conversations with Nick

  33. Happy 41st!

    I like reading nearly every post but I particularly like your style when it doesn't involve a distinct punchline. I also like it when there is sadness mixed withh humour.

  34. happy birthday plus a day!
    i love how funny and realistic you are. you dont just make everything all happy and fluffy, cause really - life is not all happy and fluffy. it has days where you yell JESUSFUCK in a family restaurant. or days where you talk to strangers about window trim that looks like penisis. :)

    i vote for more 'i can't believe this happened' stories; cause they are oh so funny. i feel sad for laughing at some of them (the baby J throwing up at Sbarro incident); but super 'cant wait to hear more' about others (the new potential scientologist at work)

    keep up the awesome writing - cause no matter what words you type, we love them all the same!

  35. Monique Esselmont8/14/2010 8:34 PM

    Happy Birthday Lisa!! I hope it was a wonderful day!! I can't wait to read all about it in the coming days... I really do look forward to reading about your days. Good ones, bad ones, funny ones, sad ones... You have a way of writing that keeps me captivated and keeps me coming back for more. I can't wait to hear what your "surprise" is all about... You are my real life "sex in the city"... xoxo

  36. Haapy Birthday you lucious creature lol, and fellow Leo.

    Now to your writings. I have to say I am in agreeance with Dagny as I love the pre dating guy decriptions and antics and the conversations with Nick, both public and not so public, like feet in carp pools and pretending to be grown ups, oh and especially pace you would put your penis if you had one......truely hilarious. In fact this post sparked a discussion with the girls one night when we were out and I have to say we were falling off our seats in the bar laughing at the various scenarios being concocted.

  37. Happy birthday - you look great! Love the hair.
    Your titles. Your honesty. Your ability to weave a yarn out of seemingly nothing. Your punchlines - how its all sewn together. And your humour of course. Your ability to laugh at yourself and tell it how it is. The fart on the plane has got to be my fave! You rock Lemon Gloria lady!

  38. Happy belated birthday!

    I can't name a particular favorite kind of post because the variety is why I love your blog.

  39. Happy Happy, belated and all that. Thing is, I actually read your request on the posted date, but kept putting off replying. I felt sort of guilty that I couldn't automatically link to several of my favs. I know there have been those days when I actually DID lol, and there've been poignant posts, that made me ::sigh:: and even though I'm 19 yrs. older than you, posts about dating, and later on, about motherhood, where I was all tingly, and horrific, (hahaha) thinking "Oh, wow, I remember feeling JUST like that!!!

    I can assure you that when I'm SO rushed I can only afford time to read ONE blog (mentally slapping wrists in advance, "You're only reading ONE Blog, this morning, ya got that, lady?!") It's yours. Even though I hate DC. And also read blogs from places I adore, like from certain parts of France and Tuscany... And I've never read your blog and thought, "waste of time" - nevah!!! - now, at my busiest time of year, (harvesting, and puttin' up fer winter) you made this request for specific posts, and I find myself all "deer in headlights" like a guy who says to his lady love, "Oh darling, you're so BEAUTIFUL!" and then the girl closes her eyes and says, "Oh, really? What colour are my eyes?"

  40. You look like a boy. Are you the man of the family now?

  41. I've bookmarked two of my favourite stories:

    Maybe I love the stories where "language" is involved, because it makes me feel I'm not the only person in the world swearing or having mean thoughts now and then.

    But on the other end I'm sure it's the variety of subjects and moods which makes the blog so interesting.

  42. happy (belated!) birthday pretty lady!! hope you have an amazing year ahead!

    i've only been reading your blog for about a year. and there's no one story i really can pick out, but what i do really love about your style of writing, is how "in the moment" i feel when im reading your stuff. you have a really great way of recapping a story, of expressing yourself that seems so conversational. and it never seems like you have to TRY to get that kind of feeling from your posts. you have a way of being funny and charming, but also seeming very real and ALSO, you can write a very poignant post which keeps me always, always coming back to read you more!


  43. Happy Birthday Lisa!!! I just read this and I love all your posts but particularly the funny ones. But also, I love your blog because you say what most of us feel at one time or another but don't necessarily know how to put into words - whether funny, emotional or brutally honest. I like the reality and the "now" of your posts and I like being involved in the responses.

  44. Happy Belated Birthday!! I must say, I thought you were a lot younger. I love the new hair too. Very chic.

    The stories I like best are the short ones about misunderstandings or funny things that happened to you. Like the story about friendly's or Betty and the douchebag comment. (that was the word, right?) Those make me laugh really hard.

    I hope you had a really fun birthday!

  45. Happy Birthday Lisa.
    Sorry I am a little late at the party!
    I like all your stories because what's ever you write it's you and it's always very entertainment. Ok, maybe I have a preference for your dialogue post between you and Nick, it's always a little surrealist.

  46. I am SO FAR BEHIND on my Google Reader. So! Happy belated birthday! And I like your embarassing stories the best. Because you are so hilarious and self-depricating but you keep your dignity, which is pretty darn noteworthy. And book? Write one! Yes yes yes!


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