Tuesday, August 31, 2010

Trajectories and abilities

Last Friday was Jordan's one-year checkup.

He weighs 23 pounds, 14 ounces. This puts him in the 50th percentile for weight. So what I would really like to know is, how big are the 100th percentile babies? Because he is huge.

As far as I understand, it doesn't really matter what the percentile, as long as the growth trajectory is steady. And his is.

The head, it continues right along in the 90th percentile.

We had a new pediatrician this time. She was perfectly nice. She asked about all these things that he might be doing at this point - and one after the other I was all...Um. No.

"Does he point at things?"

"Point? No." (He's supposed to be pointing?)

"Can he use a spoon?"

"No." (All by himself? Are you kidding?)

"Does he say 'Mama'?"

"Yes!" (Yay! We got one!)

"Exclusively meaning you?"

"Oh. Well. No." (Mamamamama = this sucks, generally speaking. Although now that I think about it, maybe Mama and Mamamamamama are different words? Hmm.)

"Is he walking?"

"No. I think his 90th percentile head weighs him down." (Seriously. Have you seen the head? It falls him over.)

"Does he imitate your behavior?"

"Imitate me?"

"Yes. Like, when you're cleaning, does he pretend to clean?"

She made a wax-on kind of motion with her hand.

"Or when you're vacuuming, does he pretend to vacuum?"

"Clean or vacuum? Um, no." (It took all my self control not to laugh. This question was based on the assumption that he's actually seen Mama clean in his entire little life.)

But seriously. At the end of this I was all, really? All these other kids his age are doing all these things and he's not? Are we doing something wrong?

And then she told me not to worry, that he was totally normal, and then the nurse came in and gave him four shots and it devolved into screaming chaos.

But other than that, it was fine.


  1. All of those milestone charts are bullshit. There is such a huge range of what's developmentally normal. All it does is instill panic in parents.

  2. Between her questions and the sheet of what he may be doing at this point, I was all twitchy. Ugh.

  3. I don't have kids, but I do have 10 nieces and nephews. And I've never seen any of them stand up, pretend the vacuum, point to their Mom and say "Mama" while using a spoon. Ever. You're not doing a thing wrong. I bet Big J could blog if you set him in front on the computer.

  4. The big kids are baby monsters. My brother and I were both giant. And my friend's child just turned 3 and he is 43 inches tall. He is as big as a 6 year old!! I think it's something in the California water because I never met giant babies during my 3 years in the DC area.

  5. No kids of my own, but in my family right now we have 9 kids under ten (plus another on the way), and from what I have seen there are really no two kids who develop at the same speed.

    Some things also go faster than others, a kid can be off the bottle or walking really early, but take forever to potty train. Once they hit school and start really interacting with other kids, it sort of evens out.

    So if he's not using a spoon by kindergarten, then you might have reason to be twitchy lol

  6. Rather than striving for him to mimic cleaning motions, perhaps you could actually teach him to use a vacuum. That would be a super handy skill.

    I also have no kids, but my best friend's daughter is almost 5 and can read a little and write her name, but her hand eye coordination is not-so-great. I think it's hereditary... her mama is a bull in a china shop. :)

  7. Booze really helps with that twitchy-ness. It helps the kid sleep too.

    Lynn in ND

  8. beyond everyone developing different i honestly believe it's because he's a boy. my 2 nephews were never hitting all those milestones at the right time, their mom was concerned. but as they get older they start to catch up. i think those questions are just there to make people nervous and start to cram/teach their kids to do shit.
    and my godson has the 90th percentile head, all stewie style too. but those big heads are SO FREAKIN CUTE! who wants a baby with a teeny head, it's weird.

  9. Monique Esselmont8/31/2010 2:42 PM

    I wouldn't worry. Both my kids were in the 90-95th percentile in height and weight when they were under 2 years old. My son was a slow walker and talker and potty-trainer. My daughter was beyond fast. She was walking and talking before her first birthday. I think that boys and girls develop differently, and boys are a little slower than girls when they are little. It'll all even out in the end, so it's not really anything to worry about. Its funny, but when my son was little, I used to think that he was soooooo big and chubby, but now he's sprouted upwards and is so lean. Funny how kids grow... You'll notice that if you decide to have a second child, you don't really worry about these things as much as you did for your first child. You're doing a great job!! Stop worrying about these things...

  10. GAH...The same thing happened to us. He wasn't walking or talking during his one month and the doc made us feel like he was Slow McSlowstein.

    I'm glad to hear that it seems normal for the doctor to make you feel bad.

    PS - He's walking now, under a month later so hang in there. Oh, and his head size is in the 95th percentile. YIKES!

  11. Don't worry about the milestones. I agree that they are just there to make us insane. Jess didn't walk until she was 14 months. My mom tells me I didn't walk until I was 15 months. I assure you I'm fully mobile now!

    And as for walking and talking, here is a great truism: We spend the first two years of their lives trying to get them to walk and talk. We spend the rest of our lives trying to get them to sit down and shut up! :)

  12. Arent you so glad you didnt squeeze that giant head out of your vagina? lmao
    He's doing just fine he will be all mama, walk feed myself thanks, in plenty of time so dont wory about it.

  13. HKW - The idea of him blogging makes me giggle. He would first chew on all the corners of the laptop and try his hardest to pry out a key or two.

    Grace - That's really interesting. I wonder what the deal is? Because J is a lot bigger than so many of the babies we know his age.

    Kenya - That is nice to hear. Several friends told me that once he's around more kids he'll start doing more, because he'll see them doing things and want to keep up.

    Jessica - I would definitely love it if he'd learn to vacuum. That would be a great skill. Maybe he'll be good at folding laundry, too. I hate doing that.

    Lynn - Once again, I'm laughing. Booze definitely helps with twitchiness!

    jen - The fact that you brought up Stewie makes me laugh. I hate that baby. Nick loves the show and I just hate it. But it's true - the big-headed babies are cute. :)

    Monique - Thanks so much for your perspective. I have heard, and totally believe, that you fret so much less with the second. Believe it or not, I worry soooo much less than I used to about him.

    Anonymous - I don't think she was trying to...I just couldn't believe that our fabulous child was not doing every single thing she asked about. Agh! As for the head size - big brains, no? :)

    cla517 - I'm actually fine with him not walking - he crawls so fast and gets into so much stuff already.

    As for the truism - I am certain that is how I will feel! But for now, I'm just itching for him to start talking! I want to know what he has to say!

    Go-Betty - Thank God! Hahaha! You are right, thanks for the reminder. He'll be running the other direction soon enough.

  14. Oh gawd, I remember the shots and the screaming. One time Dexter paused before he screamed to give the nurse the *dirtiest* look I've ever ever seen him give, and he couldn't have been more than 3 months old.

    Here's what I thought about the milestones issue: meh. It's all relative til they get to at least school age, and even then, my goodness, we need to give these kids the chance to be odd, ya know?

    I laughed out loud about the cleaning and vacuuming thing (and then thought, really, woman doctor, way to go with the gender stereotypes!). I don't remember Dexter imitating me doing chores, when I actually got to them, but that would have been almost 11 years ago (how did that happen??). Really, I'd be okay with him imitating the cleaning now. Any minute now, I'm sure he will just bust out the vacuum...

  15. If everyone did everything at the same time, life would be boring. Big J is just moving at his own speed!

  16. My baby can say mama and papa but only to the cat!

  17. I have to agree with some of the previous posts. I think those questions were BS. Big J seems to be developing just fine.
    MRA is on the path to be about the same size as Big J. He was 20 lb 3 oz at his 9 month and his head was 18 and something also putting him in the 50th and 90th percentiles. I think height was in the 75th. I don't pay too much attention to the percentile thing. Also, I tend to go with the philosophy that a big head means a bigger brain ans therefore smarter ;). I agree big heads are cuter than shrunken little heads, too.

    MRA is in daycare and several of the other babies that are the same age or younger are actually bigger. When you see them - they are chunks and super dense. But, like with the head thing, skinny babies just aren't as cute.

    In my neighborhood, however, there are 3 other babies - all older girls and they are all little and dainty. MRA makes them look so small. BTW, those girl bbaies are a little older than Big J and none of them pretend to vacuum or clean! But I am with you, it would be nice if MRA would start vacuuming or at least picking up and I am quite sure my husband would like him to start cutting the grass!

  18. My daughter is a week younger than J and is so much on the same path. I have learned to ignore all those milestones. As long as she learns something new with each passing week, I'm ok with it.


Tell me about it.