Wednesday, September 01, 2010

Wednesday poll: How much time do you spend on your hair?

This is my friend Kristin. She lives with her husband and two kids in a charming apartment in Paris.

We’ve been friends since 11th grade in Delhi. I met her the first day of school. She is tall and thin and back then she had this long, glorious, blondeyblonde hair. Every single guy who met her followed her around with a dazed look on his face.

So when we met I had an asymmetrical bob that I had just had cut in London on my way back to India, and the first thing she said to me was, “I like your hair.”

It was the beginning of a beautiful friendship.

So it was recently called to my attention – through a forwarded email – that I spend too much time talking about my hair.

This is how it started.

Kris got this haircut that she hated. Which totally affected how she felt. She walked around feeling all ugly and old and just generally loathing her hair. Every day.

If this has ever happened to you, you tell yourself, “It’s just hair.” But every time you look in the mirror, you maybe cringe and shrivel up a little inside.

Or maybe this is just me? You know, the one who spends too much time fretting about her hair. Oh, and also Kris. The other one who does the same.

I'm going to doubt it, though.

Now, I must confess, it is true that I talk about it a lot. I get all agonizey, and I think about it and talk about it and talk talk talk about it and then I change it and then I talk about it some more.

But the truth is, I talk about everything a lot. I have my topic of the week, which could be my hair, and then I am all, oh, look, a butterfly! And then I am all, "A butterfly? Can butterflies have rabies?"

And then Nick is all, "I'll be damned if we're going back to rabies. Look! A crack in the ceiling!"

But the hair.

Yes, I talk about it a lot. But in actual fact, even when I had a bob, I would spend maybe 15 minutes on it per day, including washing and drying. Now that it’s this short, it’s probably more like seven minutes. Or maybe 10.

Very little maintenance time. Leaving me more time to talk.

OK, so. Kris, like me and every woman I have ever been friends with, lives out loud. Everything has to be processed. Out loud.

In other words, it is likely there has been a lot of hair talk in their household.

And then she got this super cute haircut, featured above.

Her husband, G, was out of town. She emailed him a photo.

He responded that he liked it. And then added - and this is the reason she forwarded his email - “In my humble opinion, this obsession about hair takes a bit too much of your/our time, Lisa (sorry, I mean Kristin).”

Now, I like G. And I know he is very much not an out-loud processy kind of person. And his topics of conversation are not frivolous. He's a doctor. He likes to talk about things like epidemiology.

Seriously. When he could be talking about highlights. And layers.

So I am sure that internally he is all, "Gah I'm going to stab myself in the ears if we have to talk about your hair one more time! And I haven't seen Lisa in years! Why do we have to talk about her hair as well? Christ!"

I responded with two questions. One, what would he rather she/we obsess about? And two, do we actually know any women who don't obsess about their hair?

So I am wondering the following.

1. How much time do you spend on your hair per day?
2. Do you think and talk about your hair regularly? Could you give some kind of time estimate?
3. Does how your hair looks affect your self esteem? Or can you just pull it back and forget about it?
4. Anything else you'd like to add? About hair. Or whatever. Except rabies.


  1. I soend amonst on time a day on my hair, I only wash it, maybe twice a week, and the rest of the time I'm wearing a hard hat so there's that. If it is Saturday night and I am going on a date I may blow dry and flat iron, which may talk up to 45 minutes, but will last for at least four days, so I think you can average that time out.

    Clearly I spend a ridiculous time thinking about my hair to have come up with that averaging theory.

    I can forget about my hair, but I also only wear make-up twice a month. I used to be more beautiful and I cared more then, adn could not simply forget about it.

    The thing about my hair is it grows crazy fast, and everyone says, "ooh, I'm so jealous" except that it means a cute haircut might last two weeks, even if I cut quite a lot off, and then it looks exactly the same as it always does. So I've stopped wasting my money on cute haircuts.

    See even people who "don't care" about their hair care about their hair.

  2. oh this is fun!
    #1 - i don't shower often specifically because of my hair. it gets greasy, don't get me wrong, but i HATE how much time it takes to do. and if i don't blow dry it it looks like crappycrapcrap and i i don't want to leave the house. so when i DO wash it it takes about 20-40 minutes to dry with a round brush and try to get some G-D volume into this flat/fine mess.
    #2 - i wouldn't say "regularly", mostly because i don't leave the house much these days. but when i do have plans i start thinking days in advance about what days to wash my hair and what new style i can try to make it look less blahbitty.
    #3 - ABSOLUTELY. withoutadoubt. i can't pull mine back because i have sticky-outy ears so that starts another whole slew of self esteem issues. i only pull it back in the comforts of my own home when i have zero makeup on, lucky husband indeed.
    #4 - i firmly believe no woman LOVES their hair. they hate that it's too thin, too thick, too short, too pouffy, getting grey, etc. EXCEPT for those hours after an amazing haircut. those are the ONLY hours we can fully enjoy and revel in our gorgeous hair. and then we sleep on it or wash it and it's all over. we start in with the whycan'tigetthistolooklikeitdidyesterday??

    all of these reasons are why i FULLY support wigs. i think it's a shame that they're not as in vogue today as they once were. let's bring them back!

  3. Well, you can just tell HIM that people who obsess about their hair and get it processed and cut and such are actually HELPING THE ENVIRONMENT, because hair clippings were used to help sop up the oil in the recent Gulf disaster.

    So you and Kristen should be very proud of yourselves, and the epidemiologist now has a good reason to talk about hair.

    Anyway - I try to blow it dry most mornings (10 minutes?), but when one has dyed one's hair such a drastically different color from the natural, one dyes it every 3-4 weeks OR ELSE. Which, you know. Takes time.

    Also, I am kind of an internal-processy person. But I like talking about your hair.

  4. I miss Kris's crazy piled-on-top-of-her-head hair. Though her new 'do is gorgeous a well.

    I actually love my hair. It's thick and a good texture and I love the color (except for the greys that are creeping in, and which I remedy monthly). Other than doing my roots from time to time, I don't think about or talk about my hair at all. I usually just pull it back in a ponytail. When I feel it's getting unruly, I go see Titty and she fixes it.

  5. 1. 10 minutes

    2. Yes. I'm growing mine out right now, and though I love the color that Sweet Melissa works into it each time I see her, I feel like I'm having to be patient again..and I'm not a patient person so I obsess about how frickin' long it's going to take to get to that 'chic and easy just not so short and sassy' stage. Time can move soooooooo slowly during these phases. This means probably an hour or so a day, I think.

    3. If my hair is wonky, I do get insecure. I'm in front of the media, and represent a company at a multitude of events every year, so I feel like I need to look chic and put together. A bad hair stage does nothing for the self confidence I need to muster to be in front of the people I see.

    4. Processing with our friends is just how we do it. My friends give me honest, good advice and welcome support if I've erred or gone for a look that doesn't quite work. They make it all ok, somehow, and I wouldn't trade that process for anything.

  6. 1. How much time do you spend on your hair per day? Maybe 15 minutes, which includes blow dry/light strightening, or an up-do with clips.
    2. Do you think and talk about your hair regularly? Could you give some kind of time estimate? I pretty much never talk about my hair. I think about it when a) it needs a cut, or b) it was really windy on the way into work.
    3. Does how your hair looks affect your self esteem? Or can you just pull it back and forget about it? OF COURSE IT DOES! On a good hair day, I can do anything :) Often I pull it back just to get it out of the way, then I see myself in the mirror and think "oh, you look awful." But that's usually because I'm also wearing grubby weekend clothes too.
    4. Anything else you'd like to add? About hair. Or whatever. Except rabies. If I won the lottery I'd first pay of my student loans. The next thing I'd do would be to hire my hairdresser full-time so she could do my hair every morning.

  7. I could write a book on this topic. When I was about 11 I went into the salon and asked them to cut it short. Like, boy short. My mother didn't give a hoot so it was all on me. And I loathed the results. I spent fifth grade feeling like a boy — awesome. Ever since I've been a nutjob about my hair.

    My naturally curly/frizzy red hair is a force of nature that requires a daily management plan depending on the weather. If it looks good I'm in a good mood. If it looks bad I'm in a bad mood. I almost cried on the morning of my wedding when I woke to rain. (By some miracle it did not behave as it normally would in such weather that day and looked faboo. Proof that Jesus is on my side in this battle, natch.)

    After I had the c-section the first thing I insisted on doing when I could stand and move about a bit was fixing my hair. Doing my hair and knowing that I looked pretty at least kept me sane in those first few days of "the f*ck just happened?" And to this day I feel only 2% guilty when my husband has to watch the 'bine so I can do my hair. Eh, make that 1%.

  8. so first!? you and your friend kris have adorable hair! wicked cute. and i love talking about hair. i've got cutouts of hairstyles i like or think i might like "one day" at home, images saved on my computer of side swept bangs and cool highlights and even a red hairdo that i LOVE that i'd never have the balls to go for. so, there's a little background.

    1. depending if i wear my hair straight or not, 10-25 mins or so.
    2. YES. more so when i need a cut or highlight. then im emailing my go-to-hair friend and we talk talk talk about it.
    3. YUP, it affects my self esteem. i can handle a bad hair day now and then, but i don't like to just pull it back. i feel a lot prettier when my hair looks good. that's just the facts. i can be in a hot sassy little number and have bad hair, and i feel as though i look terrible. for me, the shoes AND the hair make the outfit!
    4. i love hair. also, LOVE MEN'S hair. hence why i have a weekly HOH feature on my blog!

  9. oh! i'm lucky in that if i take the time to blowdry it straight, i can get a couple days out of it, and not have to wash it. i like that.

  10. I have a lot of very fine hair. It's frustrating. I used to have long hair that I would have highlighted every 3 months. It would take about 4 hours to do because of how much hair I have. I stopped the highlights because my hairdresser was a bit of a douche and even though I loved my blondeyblonde highlights, I hated paying $1,000 a year on hair colour. Now I dye my hair with drugstore hair dye. I spend $40 a year on hair colour. Take that, douchey hairdresser!
    I spend about 10 minutes on my hair on an average day. It takes 10 minutes to get my hair looking nice enough to pull back into a ponytail. If I want to wear my hair down, I have to go through a complex washing, drying, straightening procedure that takes about 45 minutes to complete. I don't wear my hair down a lot is what I'm saying. My hair is half curly and half wavy / straggly so I have never been able to just wash my hair and do nothing with it and have it look good.
    I think I've already answered question 2. I do talk about my hair regularly.
    How my hair looks definitely affects my self esteem. I pull it back but I don't forget about it - I often feel like I look like a child with my stupid lazy ponytail.

  11. 1. Maybe 20 minutes.
    2. Not unless things are bad. Usually in the color department. Then I talk about it with a friend who shares my stylist and we discuss whether or not I should seek greener pastures.
    3. I don't work outside the home and I do all sorts of things like landscaping and gardening and activities that are ponytail-friendly. So I pull it back daily. But when we're going out to dinner or something, it needs to be down to balance out my thighs and hips, otherwise I look like a bowling pin.
    4. One woman's hair obsession is another woman's tomato disease obsession. (That would be you and me.) I'm sure my friends would prefer I start talking hair instead of obsessing over my garden.

  12. 1. I usually get out of the shower and comb it, so 1 minute. Unless of course I'm going out and want straight-er hair, then blowdrying takes another 10.
    2. I got bangs a while back, and it was mildly ill-advised, since I apparently have a weird curl in them. While this would have been awesome if I wanted to look like Farrah, it's not so good if you want to have Zooey Deschanel bangs. So I internally fret about them 15 minutes a day or so, but I really don't talk them to death.
    3. Pull it back and forget it. I don't know how I ended up this way, but without direct evidence to the contrary, I usually just think I look pretty awesome. Mirrors and pics prove this wrong semi-regularly but it's pretty healthy in my head.

  13. God! I was just writing about my hair. No lie. I was trying to come up with something for the Beauty of Different blog over at Chookooloonks, and I've been embarrassingly flummoxed by what makes me beautiful. I mean, let's tell the truth, there are more things I'd change than aspects I embrace.
    But, my hair, I love it.
    It's been cropped super short for the better part of 10 years. It takes me precisely NO TIME to fix. I wash it in the shower, rub a towel on my head, then smooth it with my fingers and VOILA.
    I never think about it during the day unless I happen to notice it's time to get a trim.
    It's unfussy. Makes me feel free and strong. It's different.
    The end.

  14. I spend hours obsessing about my hair. Most of it is internal obsessing but quite a bit of it is out loud. To my mom. To my husband. To everyone and anyone. But it's because I used to have these really great spirals and now, suddenly, my hair wont spiral anymore and I'm just completely bummed. Bummed, therefore, translates into long, in-depth, and recurring conversations about why my hair wont curl anymore.

    So to answer your question, no, it's totally not just the 2 of you!

  15. 1)I spend probably 10 minutes on my hair.

    2)I don't really talk much about my hair, but I do think about it. I play with it a lot too. I mostly think about how much it cost me to have it colored and why didn't I get my eyebrows done this time?

    3) If my hair ain't good, I feel self-conscious.

    4)My hair is short and naturally wavy. So it has good body, but it does what it pleases some days. But I like it, generally.

  16. Is it weird that I JUST got back the office, after having my hair cut (pre-vacation trim / last minute errand)

    1. 5 minutes if I'm running late and want to sleep in (this happens a lot during the week). Typcially 15-20 minutes. 30 minutes if I'm going out with Luke or friends.
    2. No, but I don't have great hair. So I likely avoid the topic.
    3. Yes and yes. I like the way my hair looks pulled back, which is a lifesaver. (self-esteem saver?)
    4. I'm really worried about Earl. Safety first, my vacation to DC/NC (Cape Hatteras) a close second. And I love LG polls. LG custom drawings more though.

  17. If it's more than a minute, something has very definitely gone very wrong.

    The only time I talk about it is when I tell the barber, "Start with a No. 1 and taper it up."

    Well, seeing as how it hasn't been more than 1 inch in length in decades, I can't answer this question.

    One thing I've noticed in recent years, my head must be getting bigger because the hair I have is covering less and less of it. But my younger brother's head is growing even that gets a smile

  18. I'm just an ol' country gal who's working too hard these days. I spend less than 5 minutes a day combing and Ponytailing.

    But I like reading your posts about hair, as it reminds me of the days when I did have a life outside of gardening, harvesting, and puttin' up for winter.

  19. 1) If you average it out, I spend less than a minute per day on cleaning + ~20-25 min every 4-6 weeks on shaving.

    2) Since I don't keep my head shaved, every time I do shave it, people notice, and it gets talked about for a day or two. My hair (especially facial hair) does come up quite often in discussions about racial issues / hatred / bigotry... especially around this time of year where I keep my face shaved and head hairy in order to reduce the amount of BS I am subjected too.

    3) I like my look bald with (neat) facial hair... because without facial hair I look the same as I did as a 2 year old. Of course this is the exact combination that seems to scare people the most, and so leads to me having to deal with more racist BS...

    4) I can't wait to go bald.

  20. If I wear my hair curly I spend about 5 minutes on it. I put three different types of product in it, but it takes no time to do. If I decide to have bangs or do anything else with it then it can take anywhere from 10 minutes to one hour.

    2. I don't think and talk about it too much. I like it. Sometimes I think about how I need a haircut. I'd say about 10 minutes or less a day. Maybe 20 if I mention it to someone else too.

    3. Yes! I take my appearance seriously and make sure I am dressed appropriately before leaving the house--this of course includes hair.

    4. I like your hair. I think short is the way to go for almost everyone. I grow mine out for locks of love and then cut it and then do it all over again but once I hit the point where I have babies or my hair just takes two million years to grow out then I'll just cut it short and leave it at that. I have now just gone over my less than 10 minutes of hair talk per day.

  21. I spend 15-20 minutes on it, and I obsess about it constantly. And I can't make a decision without asking everyone, repeatedly, what I should do. Weird thing about that, it's not that I get anxious about it. If a stylist messes it up a bit, no biggie; I'm not afraid to get adventuresome with color. But the amount of time I spend obsessing over every potential change, you'd think I would be one of those people that breaks down in the stylist's chair if an extra half inch comes of the ends.

  22. 1. How much time do you spend on your hair per day? Probably ten minutes. If even.

    2. Do you think and talk about your hair regularly? Could you give some kind of time estimate? Yes. And I am experiencing Kristin's pain now, as I have a haircut I hate and walk around with tons of self-loathing. Every. Day. I would say it occupies approximately 25% of my day. I fear this is a lot.

    3. Does how your hair looks affect your self esteem? Or can you just pull it back and forget about it? Reference above self-loathing.

    4. Anything else you'd like to add? About hair. Or whatever. Except rabies. Thank God it grows back, because otherwise, I'd be jumping off a cliff. True story.

  23. I obsess endlessly about my hair, I like to wear it different almost every day and when my hair is not cute, I am not happy.

    I spend about 15 minutes blowing it out when I wash it...which is about every other day. Sometimes getting it up/styled takes just as long on the "non wash" days.

    I am religious about cuts and color. I know I spend a lot on it, but I don't care. I wear it every day.

  24. I only obsess about my hair whenever I look in a mirror. Then it literally pains me.

    As far as how much time I spend on it? Two minutes to detangle before a two minute blow dry and a 10 second smoothing with the brush before I head out the door.

    And I only cut it about twice a year.

    No wonder it's such a disappointment. Good thing I've got the natural color working for me.

  25. So suppose you could get rabies from your hairdresser.

    What?! You think it couldn't happen?!?

    Au contraire:

    So this NYC artist had a pet monkey that bit his hairdresser and she had to get rabies shots.

    But imagine if this monkey-mauled hairdresser *hadn't* gotten the rabies shots, and she had contracted rabies, and then while she's giving someone, say, a *pixie cut* her rabies kicked in and this rabid hairdresser uncontrollably BIT the blonde pixie-cut-recieving customer in the chair!

    For all you know your hairdresser could be MOMENTS AWAY from a rabid biting frenzy!!!

    Totally could happen.

    I'm just saying.

  26. 1. How much time do you spend on your hair per day?
    About ten minutes, but that doesn't count all the time I spend futzing with it, putting in a bun, or braiding it throughout the day. That would add another 20 minutes easily.
    2. Do you think and talk about your hair regularly? Could you give some kind of time estimate?
    Do you remember when I grew out my silver hair? Obsessed. Now I don't think about it much.
    3. Does how your hair looks affect your self esteem? Or can you just pull it back and forget about it?
    How it looks does effect how I feel. I keep it long because I live in fear of some well-meaning hairstylist who mistakes a Mom haircut for the shortish and fashionable style I'm seeking.
    4. Anything else you'd like to add? About hair. Or whatever. Except rabies.
    I look at Doug and I'm glad mine isn't falling out.

  27. This is so fun. (Ha and only a woman would say that right?)

    1. 10 minutes. I wish it were less. Even with short hair blowdrying feels like a hassle.

    2. Yes. I'm always like "oh, I should grow it, oh, I miss when it was purple, oh, it's so long and feels so icky I should cut it!"

    3. Sometimes. Only if it feels gross. Usually I can pull it back and forget.

    4. I wish it were more acceptable for women to have super short hair. And no makeup. Why do men look sexy with buzzed hair and no makeup and women just look strange? (well, some look good, but people will still look at them as if they're strange!)

  28. Two minutes to comb it.

    10 minutes if I'm washing it (I wash every other day).

    I don't bother blow drying it, I'm too lazy (and my hair is too freaking long!). Funnily enough, I just wrote about hair last week too. And then got a hair cut (cut off 4 inches, but it's still long!)

  29. 1. Well, I just spent 30 minutes blow drying mine. And will be straightening it shortly. So on the days I wash my hair, at least an hour. On other days, probably about 20 minutes cursing it and trying to work out how to make it NOT greasy...
    2. Yup. I think about it more than I talk about it. I'm always fiddling with it.
    3. My hair is my crowning glory. Even though it's actually really wasted and dry. And I never go to the hairdresser. But I'm still obsessed with it. Even when I'm at home and have tied it back, I will re-do it like 20 times.
    4. When I'm bored (or drunk), I cut bits off my hair, just for fun.

  30. 1. Styling: 10 minutes per day, most days. And it looks like it. Very occasionally, I fully blow dry my hair (takes ~30 minutes.)
    2. I do. I was considering blogging about my hair (I just had a better haircut experience-YAY!) and thought "I blog about my hair too much" and stopped. I don't think about my hair constantly but it definitely has an impact on how I feel if it looks bad.
    3. Yes! No.
    4. Hair-cutters are artists and marketeers and fashion consultants all rolled into one. It's amazing they're not paid more than professional athletes.

  31. 1. I spend very little time on my hair. Wash, condition, hair goo and let it dry on its own, because my hair is motherfucking curly curly curly.

    2. I obsess and talk about my hair a lot. I'm trying for a new color and a new style and finding a new colorist [she left] and stylist [she left about a year ago - 2 bad cuts since then] and so each of these topics take up a LOT of my day.

    3. My hair does effect my self-esteem. Yes, it's just hair, but it's also on my head and near my face, where people look when they are talking to me [unless they are checking out my rack].

    4. The AC vent is blowing on my legs. I have legsicles.

  32. This is fun!

    1. I don't spend much time on it. If I showered in the morning, I just comb it. If I didn't, then it gets put up which usually takes about 5 minutes but can sometimes take longer what with all the swearing I have to do simultaneously.

    2. I think about the hair a good bit. If there's something bothering me about it, I'd say it could occupy my thoughts for an hour a day. But I don't talk about it -- in fact I tend to be kind of secretive about it.
    Like a previous poster, I'd been wishing my hair would curl like it used to, and had tried all sorts of products to make it curly, and then it dawned on me: I could get a perm! Drastic for me -- I've never had a perm (not even in the 80s!) and I've never colored it either. So I thought about that obsessively (waaay more than an hour a day) for about a week, and then made an appointment to have it done. The only people who knew about it beforehand were two of my sisters, and that was only because I was at a family party and couldn't resist whispering "I'm getting a perm on Tuesday!" It was fun to be excited about it with them a little bit. But I didn't tell my husband or anyone else. I'm not sure why. I'm glad, though, because the perm did almost nothing. I was sad and disappointed, and grateful I didn't have a bunch of people asking me what happened. Heh, sounds so grave!

    3. My hair definitely affects my self esteem! But I think it looks good up as well as down.

    4. Reading these comments has me thinking I should get myself a "hair friend"! Haha!

  33. 1. How much time do you spend on your hair per day? I have curly hair, and I spend about 20 minutes per day on it. 30 if I have something important to attend.

    2. Do you think and talk about your hair regularly? I definitely think about it regularly, a few times a day. Like, "Does it still look okay? Is it time to put it up?" I also look up youtube videos of how-tos for curly hair updos, once every few weeks.

    3. Does how your hair looks affect your self esteem? It definitely affects my self esteem. It's a very important part of the getting ready process. I don't feel ready to face the day if my hair isn't looking good.

    4. Anything else you'd like to add? I feel like this is a part of my appearance that I can control and improve on a regular basis, you know? My weight is always going to fluctuate and I'm never going to have the body I actually want (no matter how hard I work), but dangit, I can make my hair look gorgeous!

  34. I spend between 10-45 minutes on it. My hair is very wavy, so after I wash it, I have to dry it until it's bone dry. Then I flat iron or curl it. And then I pray that it won't be too humid that day.

    And yes, my hair does affect my mood/self image. I have long hair, and I love it. But it take effort. And if I'm regularly wearing ponytails, I know it's time to get it shortened a bit, or a different style. I abhor ponytails/buns. I feel lazy and sloppy.

    I also don't wash my hair everyday because it's healthier that way and it would drive me nuts to have to do the wash/dry/style EVERY day. I would chop it off after one week.

  35. 1. About 25 minutes with washing, drying and styling-- mostly because when I let it air dry it looks like a gross, unruly mop. When I blow dry it, I look like a reject from a Bon Jovi video, so I use a smoothing/glossing serum and pull it through a curling iron into loose waves. If I have the time, I'm not above re-washing and starting all over again if I don't like the way it feels after blow-drying.

    2. Think about- yes, talk about- no. Most of my thinking about it happens when I pass a mirror and admire it. (Yes, I realize this makes me sound vain, but I've spent the better part of 38 years trying various combinations of products to combat the humidity-induced frizziness that seizes me during the DC summer months, and I have finally (FINALLY!!!) stumbled upon the magic formula. I absolutely LOVE my hair now! *In case you're wondering: Herbal Essence Tousle Me Softly with either Citre Shine Smoothing Serum and/or Shine Mist, or Victoria's Secret So Sexy Serum.

    3. Most definitely YES. I'm a completely different person when I'm having a good hair day. I have to pull my hair back for work (I'm a waiter) and sometimes I'll be in front of the mirror pulling it up over and over again until it 'feels' right and has the perfect amount of little tendrils escaping so that it looks just casual and flirty enough.

    4. I haven't had my hair professionally cut or coloured in almost 25 years. When I was a little girl my mom used to keep my hair in a pixie cut even though I wanted long hair; and when I was a
    pre-teen a stylist put layers in my hair that pretty much left me looking like I had mange. I cried so hard that my mom told me I never had to get my hair cut again if I didn't want to. Since then, I've been trimming my own hair (with nice, LONG layers that aren't noticable if they aren't quite even) and colouring/highlighting on my own. I vary the shades from blonde to red, never doing the same colour twice in a row and never colouring my whole head at once. I get compliments all the time (even from professionals), so I guess I'm doing a good job, lol. *My favourite compliment was from a guy that said he finds my hair so sexy because it always looks like I just a 'naughty nooner.'

  36. sooo..1)
    i spend waaay more time on my hair than your other comm enters... umm a little embarrassing... but.. first i only have to wash it every few days ...but on the "wash day" i like to let it air dry a bit ..soo we are talking a good hour.. waiting for it to air dry and then blowing it out the last little bit etc..the othr days i barely comb maybe it evens out?
    2) umm i nameed my blog after
    3)i can pull it up..but i cant forget..i'll cancel a date if my hair isnt cooperating...or leave work early to wash it.. ifff i reallly like him...
    4) sorry im late here and happy birthday to betty...

  37. I'm so late to the party, but I'll chime in anyway.

    Oh, my hair. I'm a bit obsessive, and I always have been. But it's not so much talking about it, it's more like being defiant through it. I've always had to have some sort of "differentness" expressed through my hair.

    Right now it's really long, with bangs, and I have it died with a couple big chunks of red and one of blonde. I also have the underneath of my bangs died red. I still have some sections of my natural color, and I no longer fight against its natural wave.

    I have done everything imaginable to my hair over the years (I had an asymmetrical cut, too!), some things that required fussing, but these days I wash it, condition it, sometimes blow-dry the bangs and maybe the roots of the rest, and I'm done. I've stopped combing it through when it's wet, and it actually looks better. So I spend hardly any time on it; maybe 10 minutes, including shower time? And I don't wash it every day (way too drying!).

    I am really happy with how it looks, am really happy that it's different from what most people have (especially middle-aged women living in the midwest), so I haven't thought about changing it in a long time. It's kind of like my visual signature these days; people remember me by it.

    Here's something funny: it became a topic of conversation among two of my (new) students this week. I came in to the classroom with my hair inside my jacket, and they thought I had cut it, and I said no, if you see me with my hair cut, you'll know something awful has happened. I am not planning to cut it except in mourning, as the Lakota (sometimes) do. So a little conversation about hair turned serious for a minute, and it was weird. But how weird is it anyway that my hair became a topic of conversation before class! :)

    Perhaps we women think about (and sometimes talk about) our hair a lot because it's one of the ways in which we express ourselves, process and negotiate who we are and how we are in the world. Or perhaps we just like hair. :)


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