Wednesday, December 03, 2008

I have a boot problem. A tarty boot problem.

I realized last week I have relentlessly tarty taste in boots.

Also, I have a boot problem.

There, I've said it. I feel better.

So the fabulous, above-the-knee boots? The zipper broke the first time I wore them. Zappos didn't have another pair in my size. And quite frankly, I was worried that if they broke that fast, maybe they were poorly constructed. And they were expensive. So I returned them.

Thus, I no longer had hottie-hot new boots.

And then I went to New Jersey.

The Friday after Thanksgiving, Nick and his parents headed up to see his older sister and her kids. Me, I got to spend the day with Tori, who lives a couple towns over from Nick's parents. Yay!

Since it seems like a travesty to be in the land of No Sales Tax on Clothing or Shoes and not shop, we went shopping. I was looking for Christmas presents, but of course one cannot pass a DSW without poking one's nose in. Don't you think?

I cannot even tell you what possessed me to put these boots on, since I thought "prostitute" when I first saw them. But these were a total bargain (as much as a pair of boots like this can be when you're not going to make money wearing them), and I figured I'd just see how they looked.

As soon as I put them on, I kind of really wanted them.

And it was shoe money already spent. In fact, these were less than half of the prior boots. So I was pretty much losing money if I didn't buy them, you know?

And then Tori was all, "Those are awesome! Look at the buckles!"

"Too much like buckle up, big boy, and pull out your wallet?"

"Not on you."

"Are you sure? They're kind of extreme."

"Honestly, Lis, of all my friends, you pull off the whorish boots the best. And you never look the least bit slutty. I assure you."

She meant this in the most sincerely positive way. Even though it sounds kind of suspect.

And then another woman walked down the aisle and was all, "Those boots look great on you!"

Which almost made me put them back, considering I'd already been complimented for trying on some pointy purple velvet paisley boots. (Who could resist? Not me.) Also, a woman at another store had told me she loved my blue nail polish.

Except for the myriad reasons I could never live there, I could so live in New Jersey, you guys. The shopping public is good for my self-esteem.


  1. A - I love the new boots, definite upgrade from the prior pair.
    B - Blue Nail Polish... when in Rome, I suppose.
    C - Only fools pass a DSW.

  2. The boots, they are awesome. And the shopping, it is good.

    I'm glad the land of milk and honey treated you well. But... why didn't you get the pointy purple velvet paisley boots, again?

  3. I have several shades of blue nail polish, so this makes me love you even more. I recently bought a new bottle and my friend said "You already have a few blues, Lem." to which I replied, "But this is a cream! The others were shimmers!" I mean, really people...get with the program.

  4. Yay for slutty boots! I like those, but I just can't do a heel that size...

  5. I'm so jealous you can rock these boots! They are super hot and I would love to wear something like that if only I had'nt broken the same foot in the same place three times *sigh*- You go right ahead and rock those slutty prostitute boots!

  6. I think that unless you are an actual hooker you can pull off hooker shoes and not look like a pro. Unless you are pairing them with fishnets and track marks. I love a good hooker shoe. And I think I;m going to go check out those purple paisley boots.

  7. "I realized last week I have relentlessly tarty taste in boots."

    You say that like it's a problem.

  8. I heart DSW, and boots of all shapes and sizes. PS? "And then I went to NJ" made me snarf my coffee.

  9. ah, Jersey folk. never sure what to think of a comment that comes from people with suspect taste... but a compliment is a compliment even if you don't agree : )

  10. Oh, you guys, I've been in three days of ALL DAY editing class! Pencil and paper! No constant furtive checking of internet!

    RestaurantRefugee - A. Thank you, B. I actually really love blue polish, and C. Yes!

    Jessica - The land of milk and honey is a good place. As for the paisleys, sometimes too much seems like too much.

    Lemmonex - I love you like crazy. You can never have too many blues! My favorite blue is from Sephora. It's cream, and a very strong, bright blue. Too much for fingernails in my workplace, though. So for that I wear a more subtle dark blue Sally Hansen. Cheap and pretty.

    Zandria - Thick heels make it easier. Plus, being tall, you don't need them.

    JoLee - Ow ow ow. I suppose you have to treat a thrice-broken foot very nicely.

    Maiden Metallurgist - Please do! Tori and I both liked them. It was just, well, where to wear them? Plus they'd probably get dirty fast.

    Arjewtino - Thank you for enabling me.

    FreckledK - This seriously made me laugh. Let's both wear tarty boots Friday.:)

    LiLu - DSW is a good, good place. :)

    Nicole - Yes! Might be my new mantra!

    notsojenny - I know. I am a compliment whore, but sometimes the source does make one pause.

  11. I love the boots, even more than the last pair. I can't wait to live in a climate in which multiple pair of tarty boots will be de rigeur.

  12. Those are HAWT! Seriously, the heel is a little thick, but I like the buckles. Of course, you do have to consider the source when it comes to compliments. Being a former stripper, my taste may be a little suspect.

  13. You can't go wrong with a hot pair of boots. True story.

  14. Boots are only as slutty as the feet in them... unless they're pleather or rubber, in which case you're just a cheap trick.

  15. Those boots are awesome. Period.


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