Friday, December 12, 2008

So fine, it's liquid precipitation and commenting on it won't change a thing

Driving in to work this morning I asked Nick what I should blog about.

"You haven't ranted about winter in a long time."

I do hate winter, it's true. I hate being cold, I hate the thin, feeble light. The shortness of the days and the intrusive darkness of the nights both get me down. And rain. I hate rain.

In fact, perhaps, I should just say I hate inclement weather. There. That covers it.

I arrived at Nick's office last night soaking wet, freezing, and spouting profanities. And like "cocksucking rain" makes any sense anyway.

So I immediately wondered aloud if Nick thought I complained a lot. His answer? Well, I complain a lot more than him.

He was all, "So it's cold. So it's raining." He pointed up to the sky. "It's like complaining about the clouds. It's not going to change them. What's the point?"

All I could think of was, "It must feel awesome to be so fucking perfect."

Thinking about it, thought, it's true - I do complain a lot more than he does. Not whining, fix-this-for-me complaining. But I am likely to say "Fuck! It's so fucking cold!" every single cold day of the winter. Because fuck! It's cold!

But do I complain a lot? In the scheme of human complaining? Do I?

And is this a female-male difference? Are women more likely to voice what they think in the moment? Or is this a Lisa-Nick difference? I'm not sure.

He does, in fact, have a sunnier disposition than I do. Or maybe not sunnier, but he's a lot more even-keeled. My highs are happy! sunny! yippee! sparkly! rainbows! dancing! puppy squeezingly high. And my lows are dark, no daylight in sight, pit-of-despair-ish.

He maintains a pretty even level of happiness or contentment throughout the day, week, month. This is not to say he doesn't get mad - because man, he has a temper. Or sad. But down episodes are rare, and, except for the anger, never as extreme as mine.

I tend to think about it in water terms. He spends most of his time swimming steadily down a pleasant, fairly evenly flowing river. And I spend mine in the ocean. Riding the high waves, enjoying the sun sparkling on the rushing water, and then thrashing about sputtering, flailing and grasping when I get caught in the dark gritty grip of the undertow.

We are very different people.

But back to complaining. Is complaining in itself necessarily bad? I don't know that it is.

There's something pretty satisfying in remarking on something you dislike, or something that pisses you off or irritates you.

So you can't change the fucking cold or the cocksucking rain. Is it terrible to remark on it?


  1. Sometimes if you squeeze a puppy, they poop. Just sayin.

  2. Evidently I told my boyfriend every morning that I didn't want to go do to work. I've since made a concerted effort to stop, but it doesn't change the fact that I don't want to go.


  3. I complain a lot too but so does (my) Nick. Sometimes I complain that people are complaining too much. Weather is safe enough, as are things like traffic and other non-controlable things. But if you're complaining about how much you hate your job and doing nothing about it? Then yes, that's annoying complaining.

  4. I know how you feel. I don't think it's terrible to complain, as long as you don't get overly whiny. Whiny is just annoying.

  5. You call it complaining, I call it venting. It's necessary. Nick should try a grumble here or there - it feels good, and it's good for you.

    And how about that cocksucking rain yesterday? Terrible!

  6. I don't know if it is a mono-chromosomal condition, but I almost never complain about thing that are beyond my control. But I must admit that the image of you sputtering "cocksucking rain" made me snarf my coffee.

  7. I very nearly said the exact same thing to my boyfriend just the other day (about being fucking perfect, I mean, not the cocksucking rain thing).

    Nick's arguing that it's not logical to complain about something unless it will do any good. Well, it IS doing some good. It's making you feel better, and not hurting anyone else, and is therefore a logical activity in which to engage.

  8. no way. complaining is a way of making room for all the good thoughts, right?
    i complain all the time. i have the uncanny ability to complain about anything really. much like you things are either GreatFantasticWonderfulFabulous with me or they're AwfulTerribleAtrociousUnbearable. i've asked M before if i complain too much and i've been told it's not a big deal, just do something about the things i complain about consistently. but how exactly am i supposed to do something about humidity? and other people?
    c'est la vie

  9. lacochran - I must say, you make a good point. I haven't squozen any puppies in a long time.

    raven-smiles - I feel you. You can stop saying things, but it doesn't mean you stop thinking them.

    Jo - That is definitely annoying complaining. I did that in my 20s. Now I just would start looking for a new job. Or collectiong bugs.

    J - Whining makes me want to smack people. But profane exclamations are always fine with me.

    FreckledK - Yes! Venting! That's better! It was super cocksucking rain to have to go out in. Ugh.

    RestaurantRefugee - Yah, those are mostly the things I DO complain about. And I'm always happy to make you snarf.

    Jessica - Don't you wonder how it feels to be that fucking perfect? It must be exhausting. And you are right. I'm being totally logical.:)

    notsojenny - That's defniitely a positive spin on it. I like it! Like drinking to clear out unused brain cells.

  10. Nah, I don't think so. Sometimes I do think it'a a male/female different--at least, I dated quite a few guys who said I complained a lot (hmmm ...). Anyway, my husband complains his fair share, which is awesome because it makes me feel better when I'm doing the complaining, but then every once in a while he says to me, "Why ya gotta be so negative?" and then I want to slap him.

  11. My view is complaining is fine, so long as you're either funny or passionate about it.

  12. I gripe, bitch and complain a lot. My Dear Husband does not. I figure that it's a male/female thing, but I have diarrhea of the mouth, so...

    And another thing (didn't you see that coming?) It doesn't matter that you and Nick are vastly different, what matters is that you want the same things. Apparently that is the case, or else you wouldn't be married to one another and trying to produce spawn.

    Here's a novel question: Who would you want your offspring to be more like, you or Nick?

  13. I'm a xx who doesn't complain much (with a slow but eventually terrible temper) married to a complsiner/VENTER with a quick temper. I think my mom trained the temper out of me- I remember being a pretty angry kid- and that was the main thing I was punished for. I think I like having Dan around because he's my angry id.

  14. Frankie lives in the river too. And I live in the tsunami.

    It's fun, really.

  15. Kate - Haha - that would make me want to slap him, too.

    LiLu - I like that approach very much.

    Jo - Yes, you're right. We're vastly different, but have many of the same wants, and in most ways I'm thankful for the difference. Another me would be exhausting. And personality-wise, I suppose more like Nick. I love his even, happy nature.

    Nicole - I know. When it's fun, it's very very fun...

  16. Mary - Sorry I missed you. Personally, I think your reason and Nick's are the same. I think I should suggest he enjoy me as his angry id. I love that expression.

  17. I broke up with one girlfriend because she came home from work every day and complained about it. Another one, now my wife, complained pretty much every day for a year that she was tired; it delayed my proposing to her while I tried to figure out whether I could spend the rest of my life with a chronic complainer.


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