Friday, December 05, 2008

Just so you know, urination looms large in this post

I love the idea of Founding Farmers. The philosophy behind the restaurant is great - combining socially responsible, sustainable behavior with fresher, tastier, more healthful food. I totally support this.

I know Lemmonex didn't have a great experience. But I still wanted to try it. And overall, I liked it, although it is loud. Our server, who was great, had to struggle to make herself heard. Which is particularly hard when there's a long explanation about the place.

Our friends Sam and Amanda met us there. We hadn't seen each other in ages, and while the visuals are charming, the noise level - music on top of really high conversation volume - made it a difficult place to catch up. Easy to lean into the person next to you, but you needed to bellow across the table.

I had chicken for dinner. This statement make me laugh, as years ago a friend shared her diary and that was an entire day's entry. "Tuesday, September 5. I had chicken for dinner."

So I try not to write things like this.

But I had chicken with mashed potatoes and root vegetables. All tasty, but I wouldn't rhapsodize. In fact, everyone liked their meal, but none of us were dancing on the table. I will say, though, that Amanda is currently on a very severe salt-restricted diet, and they were extremely accommodating. And they made her no-salt french fries, which made her night.

So because we're juvenile, when they brought us water for the table Sam and I immediately began conferring on whether we had to give it back before the end of the meal. Nobody could leave until they peed, which would then be recycled into fresh water and brought to a subsequent table. Kind of like Dune, except without special suits.

Amanda was the first to, um, recycle, and came back and said we had to check out the hand dryers. You stick your hands in these slots and they power dry them in like 15 seconds.

Nick was next. He came back looking embarrassed. Because, he said, he'd mistaken the sink, a long white enamel farmhouse-looking one, for the urinal. He figured in keeping with the theme, they were just having men pee in a trough. Just as he was about to unzip, he realized that there were urinals behind him.


Me, I went to the single bathroom downstairs. And Amanda was right - the dryers are the best I've ever used. You hold your hands pointed downwards and really strong air blows them dry. Fast.

Although both Sam and Nick were shockingly resistant to my suggestion, if I had a penis, I'd totally stick it in that power dyer.


  1. I assure you that if you had a penis and cared about it, you would never stick it in that power dryer.

  2. I was also enraptured by the hand dryer!

    I have an interesting follow up on the FF saga, which I shall share with you when I see you next.

    All I can say is this: I want them to do well, I really do. I like the concept tons. They just need to get their shit together.

  3. RestaurantRefugee - Hmm. I suppose that's why both guys refused. It just, well, seemed like it might feel good. All breezy and stuff.

    Lemmonex - Would love to hear more later. I want them to do well, too. It's pretty, the food is good, and the concept is fantastic. I also want them to put up some textiles on the walls or some kind of sound absorber.

  4. I want a stilsuit really, really badly.

    I also want to wash my hands and watch the water beggars fight over my damp hand towels.

    Man, now I'm craving cinnamon.

  5. Salt-free french fries? Why would someone eat that? There are much better choices that lend themselves more easily to being salt free.

  6. If eating there lets me use the voice like the other Jessica, then I'm all for it.

    And yes, I realize that I have revealed the true depths of my nerditude. I'm okay with that.

  7. saratogajean - OK, that totally made me laugh out loud.

    lacochran - She loves fries, loves them. And not having had any in 6 months, it was a huge treat.

    Jessica - Man, if I had the Voice, I could've convinced the guys to try the dryer trick!

  8. Oh my god! That is so funny! I can only imagine your friend's expression in the mirror when he realized that he almost peed in the sink.

    (I wished I had a penis this week - what is up with that? And, no, it wasn't for sexual purposes.)

  9. Jessica: But if you were a Bene Gesserit, you would have to always wear black and you would be adicted to Melange... which, now that I think of it, might actually be cool. Except that being a guy, I'd either die, or be the Kwisatz Haderach... which doesn't sound like fun. Hmm...

  10. we have those dryers at ebbitt, too. ours are made by dyson and it's like getting blasted with a jet engine. i overhear about 15 conversations a day in my section about them!

  11. Those dryers are all over london -- and at SFO. And yes, they made my day, too.

  12. Oh yeah, we have those hand dryers in Glasgow Central train station. I would probably do the same if I had a penis . . . although I'm really not sure it would be a good idea . . .

  13. I wasn't sure if I should check out the restaurant or not, until your comment about the power dryers. Screw the food, I'm going for the bathrooms!

    (oh,and ps... it was great meeting you last night! :) )

  14. Oh, I feel for your friend... french fries are really just a medium for getting the salt to mouth. Covered in salty ketchup. With some salt on the side, please.

    I like salt?

  15. hahaha. The first time I went to Founding Farmers, it was a work thing. One by one, everyone in my group was ordered by my boss to go and wash our hands, simply to see those f-ing cool hand dryers!!


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