Friday, June 04, 2010

Because three is one ball too many

Or, a ball in the hand is worth two in the bush?

Um. Sorry. Sometimes I can't resist.

So I kind of love the "oh, shit!" moments in this video

And the thing is, I totally do this. Even though in theory, I understand that when I have both hands full, I can't really fit anything else.

I do this both physically and emotionally. Although less and less so on the latter.

A few weeks ago Jen and her husband and some other friends were coming over, and I walked to the grocery store to get entertainingy food and drinks. I filled up my backpack and two reusable bags. I had a blue ton of stuff.

I don't know what a blue ton might be. I just made it up and like how it sounds. You can substitute shitload if you need a better visual.

So the guy asked if I needed help out with the bags and I thanked him and said that I was walking.

And his eyes kind of bulged. So I said, "I'm stronger than I look."

I then slung the backpack on my back, hoisted the bags. OH! And picked up the two 12-packs of beer!

I forgot. Also I had a bunch of Sierra Nevada.

So. One full backpack. Two full cloth bags. And two 12-packs of glass bottled-beer.

I staggered - really, without exaggeration - out the door and got about ten steps before I had to set everything down and readjust. I got maybe half a block and realized my veins were bulging. And my hands were maybe going to fall off.

Fortunately, it was a Saturday. I called Nick.

Nick, who had offered to go, because we needed a lot of stuff. And I'd said, no, no, no problem. I can handle it.

I called him and said, "Help!"

Then I stacked the beer, sat down on it, and opened a bag of chips.

Sometimes that's the best solution.

Happy Friday, friends!


  1. Poor baby J. Maybe blocks would be less frustrating than balls? I love his little kicky feet :)

  2. The little man certainly can get around quickly on his tummy!

    Kudos to you for even attempting to pack all that home on your own... but I have this great picture in my head of you, shades on in the sunshine, sat on the beer and happily munching on the chips. Awesome. :-)

  3. Hillary - He has blocks, but he loves the balls. Friends gave them to us in this little spinner toy, and he loves to dump them out (and inevitably follow them in varying directions).

    Keenie Beanie - I think of myself as much bigger and stronger than I am. I always overestimate how much I can carry. But you are so right - I totally had shades on in the shade with my chips. :)

  4. Love the visuals! Big J is just too cute for words. Sitting on stacked beer with reinforcement on the way is a perfect solution.

    I'm actually weaker than I look, unless I decide to re-arrange furniture in the house. Then I can carry a couch over my head and up a flight of stairs :)

  5. Look at how mobile he is! I love the part when the one ball rolls away and he looks at the other one in his hand like "Huh. That's weird." So cute!

    I have done the walking home with huge piles of groceries on more than one occasion. By the time I get home my fingers are totally white or have started to turn blue. But hey, it's a good workout! :-D

  6. We have balls just like that! They're my guy's favorites, too. Unfortunately, they're the dog's favorites, also, and they play together. I'm pretty sure S has stuck them in his mouth while still wet from the dog, though I do try to intercept them and wash them off before that happens.

  7. Too cute!! Oh, and the quote from yesterday, it's actually "When someone shows you who they are, believe them" Maya Angelou said it.

  8. Big J would have fun with my cat chasing the balls-he is so adorable! I love that you called Nick then sat on the beer and popped open the bag of chips-my kind of girl! You and the gang enjoy the pool this weekend!

  9. I would have loved to see you sitting on the side of the road.

    J is so funny. Like, "Where'd my balls go?!" I especially liked the scramble at the end.

  10. HKW - I cannot tell you how much I adore the image of little tiny you storming up the stairs with a couch over your head in a whirlwind of rearranging. It is spectacular!

    Stevie - That's totally how I think of it - a good workout! And I am stubborn. But this one was just too much.

    Luna - Ah, you know, Jordan licks the floor and is particularly enticed by shoes. So I think a little dog slobber is small in the scheme of things. And anyway, this makes their immune systems really strong, doesn't it?

    cla517 - Thank you so much for that. I have totally taken it to heart. And I love that it's Maya Angelou.

    kayare - He definitely would. He's been around dogs but not cats (I'm allergic) but anyone who wants to play just delights him.

    Kate - He is hilarious. He really is.

  11. Oh my god, I laughed so hard at this. His expressions are priceless! And that scooting is awesome.

  12. I do that all the time. Even though I have lived here for three years I still have to remind myself not to get more than I can comfortably carry. I once carried a plastic container on my HEAD and had bags up each arm. No one offered to help and I had just moved here. I made it but damn was I sore for a while. I think your chip eating idea is the best solution.

  13. Theater-production friends of mine introduced me to the term "MFT" while I was in Tejas. And since you use the word all the time, so shall I. MFT stands for Metric Fuck Ton. It's my second favorite unit of measure.


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