Thursday, June 03, 2010

Disconnected thoughts

Hair. I fear that with the new hair maybe I look like Andy Warhol.

Poo. Can you talk about poo too much? One of our friends told us we talk about poo too much. Like, even for new parents.

Heat! I love this weather. I can't get enough of it. Seriously, I take humidity over cold any day of my life.

Stub of death. Have you ever walked into something so hard that your toe turned purple and then maybe black? Did it eventually fall off or go back to normal?

Duplicity. What do you do when someone you thought you were close to turns out to not be the person you thought they were at all? Do you take action? Or just back away?

Costco. Makes me loathe humanity. And yet I cannot resist the lure of bulk and deals. I got two pairs of cute capri pants there last weekend. And I don't have to buy toilet paper for six months!


  1. Hair: Andy Warhol is fucking awesome.
    Poo: You probably can talk about poo too much. But you can also not care that you talk about poo too much.
    Heat: Fuck you, it's been raining here for over a week. And it's cold. And grey.
    Stub of death: Is the whole toe black? Or just the toenail? If it's just the toenail then yes, that has happened to me and yes, the nail fell off. If it's the whole toe, I don't know. Maybe? Which toe is it? Would you be sad to lose it? If it's just a pinky toe I think you'd be fine without it.
    Duplicity: Back away.
    Costco: Dude. I know. Laundry detergent is so cheap! And I only have to buy it twice a year because the bottle is so large. And it's the lovely hippie laundry detergent too.

  2. Stub of death: I have had the nail turn colors and get funky looking... and I've broken toes by stubbing them... but I just counted and confirmed that I do indeed have all ten toes, so I can say I've never had a toe fall off because I stubbed it.

    Duplicity: if they're doing something to hurt someone, then say something. Otherwise, just back away.

    Costco: it's not so bad on weekday evenings... but on weekend it is horrible. Weekdays during the day is even better, but obviously more difficult timing wise.

  3. Poo. Yes, I think you can talk about poo too much. But I don't think you talk about poo too much. Or at least I'm not bored with the poo content.

    Heat. It's going to be a long hot summer. A huge rainstorm passed through last night and our garden is in full bloom. I whispered to the garden this morning..."Bunker down. Here comes the heat!"

  4. You do not look like andy warhol.

    I think for some people, maybe you can, but you've yet to reach my threshhold.

    I think I agree, though my morning runs through soup make me whinge a lot.

    I don't think I've ever had my toe turn purple/black, but my sweetgum bruises are still that color. And sadly, my bum shows no signs of falling off.

    I think you can do either, but most of the time I would probably take whichever option put me in contact with them less.

    Costco has surprisingly good deals on clothes, sometimes. Though, don't EVER by their house brand of TP, unless you have some sort of masochistic interest in chafing!

  5. eh....sometimes you have to talk about poo. Everybody does it.

  6. Re Duplicity: That depends. If it's a minor thing, and you can avoid the person in the future, just back away. But if it's something that will make you stew over the situation, or you just keep going over it in your mind, testing scenarios, I'd confront the person. My theory is, if you have done something to upset me, we are going to talk about it (and then at least I won't be the only one that is upset). That being said, I detest confrontations.

  7. It is impossible to talk poo too much. People need to get over their poo issues. EVERYBODY POOPS.

    You are my hot weather soul sister. I love the humidity and everyone looks at me like I'm crazy.

  8. I'm with you on Costco. It's up there with amusement parks on the "humanity is revolting" scale. But it is irresistible.

  9. I don't know how to take finding out someone isn't who you thought they were. I had that happen to me last year around this time and it still stays with me..I backed away. I stubbed my toe and (you may want to look away) managed to rip off half of my toenail-ouch. I've been nursing it everyday since and trying to hang onto the nail-sucks that it's toenail weather. I recently chopped a bunch of hair off and I love it! Problem is, I don't like humidity nor does my hair-major frizz. But I love the heat-bring it on! Pooh is cool with me.

  10. Hair. we'll need pictures to assess appropriately.

    Poo. nah.

    Heat! i'm jealous. have i mentioned that? it's been rainy, gray, and yucky here all week.

    Stub of death. yes, my poor little pinky toe. never went back to normal completely. it sticks out like a little popcorn shrimp. it's a normal color though now.

    Duplicity. i've backed away and i've taken action and then backed away. neither are easy. i've found backing away only works if you aren't really close to the person. if you are close, they will notice so action is needed.

    Costco. i miss it. that and target!

  11. Hair: I don't think you resembe Andy Warhol in the least.

    Poo: Probably. But, you know what? Too bad for your friends!

    Heat: I live in S. Florida. Between May and September, it's like living in Hell. But, I'd rather have to run into the air condtitioning from the heat outside, then into the heat from the cold outside.

    Stub of death: Toenails are definitely disposable and regenerative. Did you break your toe? That's possible too. If you did, it won't fall off, but it may end up arthitic later.

    Duplicity: Back away. FAST. Unless the person is causing actual harm. Then I might say something. Otherwise, I would just let the friendship go. I heard this quote one time and I have no idea who to attribute it to (it may even be a movie line) "When someone shows you who they really are, believe them."

    Costco: Any of those places make me nuts, yet I continue to go. the call of 800 rolls of toilet paper for $5 is too strong!

  12. Andy Warhol JUST WISHES he could look so good!
    I love the poo and baby talk. Back away from that person who told you so. I HATE heat if it isn't "A Dry Heat" Humidity? Really? You can deal with that? I'm impressed. Back away first. If they stalk you to death (happening to me since October)....say something, and when you figure out what you'll say let me know so I can try it too. My ex-friend is now my stalker...
    Sam's Club!! Yahoo I have TP to last all summer!
    By the way, I love your commenter's Lisa, they all seem to have their poo together.

    Prairie Lynn

  13. I look at it like you're just picking up the slack from other people who don't talk about poo at all.

    Like, you're doing double dooty. Hahahaha.

  14. on the duplicity point . . . what did I do? I wrote a blog post about it. and the person i blogged about found it, and made my life hell. so definitely don't do that!

  15. I love all of you so much! If I weren't already married, I would totally marry you. Although I guess I'd have to be a lesbian. And a polygamist. If I were a lesbian polygamist, I'd marry all of you. But I don't mean that in a creepy way. And no, I didn't just have a glass of wine at an office reception. Why do you ask?

  16. Hillary - I'm sorry it's been cold and grey. It's now hot and muggy and absolutely pouring here, which made for a very soggy walk home, if that makes you feel any better.

    Also, it's the pinky toe. I could probably live without it, but my balance is crap as it is, so it would be better not to.

    VVK - I'm pretty sure it won't fall off. It's just very ugly and hurty.

    And Costco is least hellish during the week, but still there are a lot of people staggering around like they've had head injuries.

    HKW - I feel like you're a good measure, since all the poo is not really your thing. Thanks for that!

    And I know your garden looks just spectacular! And here comes the heat!

    Dagny - I have this vision in my head of your morning run through cream of mushroom soup. Which would be super disgusting.

    Also, I feel like I should attempt a drawing of you with your butt falling off.

    Grace - Apparently we do it much more than most. Talk about it, I mean.

    Susan H - It is more of the stewing variety, but I am really not sure that talking will make any difference. It's in my nature to talk, but I don't know about this case.

    Lisa - OK, I will take that! No such thing as too much poo!

    And yes! People think I'm insane for loving DC summer. But it's summer! It's the only summer we've got!

    Wendy - You are so right about the amusement park. Similar masses of horrendous humanity.

    kayare - It's an awful realization, isn't it? I think it must take a very long time to subside. As for the toenail rip, I cannot even type that without serious cringing. Eeeee! And glad you like the new short cut! My hair doesn't frizz in the humidity but it gets weird flips.

    mrsmac - I will try to take some tomorrow.

    You'll be back in the heat and humidity soon enough. I'm glad you're living up the rest of your time there.

    I worry that my pinky toe will have suffered permanent damage. It's not sticking out weird, though.

    cla517 - First of all: "When someone shows you who they really are, believe them." - Oh, how I love this. I wish I'd heard this years ago. It's so true and right. Wow.

    And I think I broke it but Nick doesn't. He says it would hurt more. Other friends think I did, though.

    Prairie Lynn - I will take any kind of heat. Any. Dry heat is best, but anything over the cold. I LOVE my commenters. They (you) are always funny, interesting, insightful. Definitely have their poo together. :) Giggling as I type that.

    sarah - Hahahaha! Double dooty! Excellent!

    P - Yikes! No, that would be very very terrible.

  17. I'd like to second that drawing of Dagny.. :-)

  18. 男人有了外遇,但是他不想離婚

  19. Hair - Andy Warhol eat your heart out

    Poo - as a family we seems to be famous for talking about poo just as we sit down to eat. Now of course this has got much worse. From me anyway.

    Heat - bring it on

    Toe - ow. Probably is broken. My sister has done this on numerous occasions (she's clumsy okay!) and twice its been broken I think. Imagine if toes were like gecko or lizard tails where if they fall off they grow back again. And when they fall off they squirm on the floor with a life of their own...

    Duplicity - eek, not sure about that. I'm a big time non confronter which is not always the right thing to do...

    Costco - wow, sounds like a scary place. I have enough trouble in a small little supermarket that sells more than one type of toothpaste. Consumer overload

  20. Why Hello Lemon,

    If yout pinky toes suffers permanent damage, we can have Hillary slice it off with her recently sharpened knives.

    I prefer the heat also, although poo seems to smell worse in the heat than it does the cold... hmmmph!

    I feel weird posting comments on a blog that has all females on it.

  21. If I am the friend in question (and, no worries, I don't think that I am), I would prefer that you dealt with it instead of backing off. Maybe it can be explained or salvaged.

  22. hair: Andy Warhol is not a completely terrible look; you have your Halloween costume half done

    Poo: went on a 1st date with a girl to a Chocolate Bar (chocolate martinis, desserts etc.) and she talked about Poo nearly the entire time and she doesn't even have kids! She's a nurse. There was no second date. So if you want a 2nd date with friends, ixne on the Poo talk ; )

    Heat: I have lived in the South most of my life....I can do with the 90 degrees and above, but you live in snow a lot, so I'll give you the heat

    Stub of Death: how do I not know where all my furniture is....I've never moved it in 10 yrs in same house! Just wait out the black/purple

    Duplicity: cut them out of your life like a cancer

    Costco: I need Xanex to even think about going to Costco, Sam's or Ikea (we have a land locked Ikea here in ATL...the only one that is)

    By the way, as a woman who likes women, cheers to you on the "lesbian if you had a drink" support....we take what we can get ; )

  23. VVK - Well, then, I'd better get to work! :)

    Miranda - We always talked about poo at the dinner table when I was growing up. It really bothered my mom.

    And my brother and I used to try to catch geckos and they'd drop their tails and we'd be fascinated by the wiggling tail left behind. It would be both interesting and super disgusting if that happened with toes...!!!

    As for Costco - when we first moved to the US regular grocery stores were so overwhelming. Really kind of like an amusement park. Too big! Too many choices! Too bright and shiny! And now look at me - I buy cereal in 54-pound boxes.

    GW Mush - VVK is male, as are a couple other readers, but you are definitely in the minority. It makes you special!

    As for Hillary, that's a great suggestion! I should ask her about that...

    freckledk - Oh, God no. It's not you or any other blog friends; I wouldn't put it out here for you to stumble across. And I think of you as totally straightforward rather than duplicitous.

    KDog - A friend just sent me a picture of him - I am considering just running with it.

    The furniture thing! And walls! You'd think I'd have a grip on walls as well.

    And you totally have my support. Although I've been watching a lot of Big Love and polygamy looks like a complicated piece of hell to me. So upon further reflection, I wouldn't actually marry all my commenters, even if I were single. :)

  24. It all depends on personal preference. I really can't take any poo talk whatsoever. I know everyone does it, but that doesn't mean I want to hear about it.

    So when new parent friends go in that direction, I just change the subject as fast as I can. If they persist, I ask for a kitchen knife and a shot of brandy so I can give myself a hysterectomy right then and there. That ALWAYS works.

  25. Oh, Shannon. I promise I will try never to push you to that point. If we're chatting and I bring up the poo, just pull on your ear (or suggest some other reminder sign) to clue me in to the NO NO NO on the Poo Talking!

  26. Finally! Someone else who loves the summers around here. I'd take the humid summer over an average winter any day too. Of course, I'd rather it not be humid but it is and I welcome our sticky summers every year with open arms, frizzy hair and all.


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